#this show makes me feel indescribable feelings every single week

[rythyme]

"your evil dad is sending a secret agent to mpreg you so he can sell your ass baby for profit at his human trafficking auction" <- real actual plot point on thai prime time tv

[anadiasmount]

omgg i loveee ur acc sm and since you’re taking request can we get a blurb or something about jude having you as his good luck charm like giving you head or something idk

for you - jb blurb.

(minors dni!! this one is a little nastyyyy 😵‍💫😛 but he’s been looking too good i fear…) im to lazy to proofread so im sorry for any spelling mistakes!! 🤍

“my favorite girl… my girl, my girl only,” he gently whispered, making you breathe heavy as he kissed you harsher and desperate. he wasted no time after coming home from his awaited game. he begged all week for you to go and watch him play, something about you being there was a lucky charm.

you knew he was just playing around… or was he?

all you could focus on was how he was paying attention to every single detail of you. how his large hands roamed your sides and down your back, giving your ass a nice firm grip, a gasp escaping your lips. his delicate fingers tracing every ridge of you to the point where you could no longer stand it.

his bedroom was cold, goosebumps raising immediately. “so in love with you,” he confessed, eyes fluttering as your hands undid his buttons from his shirt. “you don’t understand how much you mean it to me, the whole world,” he continued to blabbering as you kissed his neck and jaw, the same attention and fierce he gave you. “please jude,” you said quietly. not knowing what exactly you were begging for, but you wanted anything he was willing to offer on the table.

he gently placed you on the bed, your eyes roaming down his figure and how he removed his belt with one hand, jude standing now in his boxers. you gulped nervously as he approached you, his eyes dark and filled with one thing. desire. the desire to have you. to taste you. to fuck you. jude could see it in your eyes too. it wasn’t hide or seek.

“all i could think about today was you. you in my jersey, the necklace with my initial, your ring. fuck baby,” he cursed, the words sounding like pure sins. he leaned down, removing your jeans and jersey, leaving you with your undergarments. jude came between your legs, kissing from the valley of your breasts up to your chin, his warm tongue, tracing your lip before kissing you messily.

“my lucky charm.”

your hands scratched his back, jude groaning as he pulled away and was kissing down your abs, the feeling of two wet kisses placed on your hip bones. you leaned up on your arms, watching intently as jude bite the inside of your knee, and kissed it softly after. his tongue traced all the way down to your inner thighs where you began you to close your legs due to the anticipation.

you were a shy mess when he went down on you, and it gave jude more of a thrill. his teeth pulled the string of your underwear down, the fabric snapping making you whimper. his fingers wasted no time and pulled your panties down and somewhere across the room. your breathing was ragged, the unsteady heartbeat, and the sudden warm of pool you felt down in your core. clenching around nothing.

“wanna show you just how much you mean to me darling. wanna taste you till i feel you cumming just for me,” he said almost possessive, you nodding rapidly and awaiting to see what he did next. you bit your lip and held back a moan when he blew cold air against your core. your stomach sucking in and chest raising before he could do anything.

“relax angel, we’re just getting started, i mean it when i say i’m going to appreciate and show you,” he kissed once more on your pelvis bone, before placing a kiss on your clit, already seeing stars. you clenched your legs together, jude grasping and pulling them apart as his tongue went below and licked your entrance all the way back up slowly. “holy fuck,” you shivered rolling your eyes and leaning backwards.

the soft kitty licks were sending you into an over drive, and this time there was no holding back any noises. he pulled and sucked your clit softly, the feeling indescribably from head to toe. if he kept doing that, you wouldn’t be able to hold back. you looked down to see his brown eyes already boring into you, a small bead of saliva dripping down against your core. jude then brought your closer to him, the push against your pussy making you gasp and moan his name loudly.

“shit jude, oh my-” your words cut off as he returned his movements, the soft licks and kisses against your core was making your head feel cloudy. your hand went up to squeeze your now harden nipples, edging your orgasm even closer. “taste so good, taste so sweet, could stay here all day,” he said making your legs shake. “please don’t stop, please, please,” you beg.

jude wanted to savor this moment forever. he was just as turned on as you were. his cock almost throbbing and begging to be touched. the small rock of your hips made him want to bring your closer to your orgasm even more. he traced your entrance with two fingers, plunging them deep and curving them in that exact spot, hearing the cries of pleasure you let out.

“fuck, fuck, fuck,” you unravel, eyes squeezed shut as you felt that knot grow in your tummy. jude didn’t plan to stop, his fingers deep in you as he continued to lick and suck your clit evidently. “i’m so close, j-jude, s-so c-c-close,” you struggled to stay. “don’t hold back, i can feel you, i can feel how close you are, cum baby, cum for me,” jude growled.

you moaned louder, the out bursting as your legs shake, panting as you pushed jude’s head away, the feeling too overpowering. speckles of black invaded your vision, your body hot and convulsing with the aftershocks from your orgasm. the pleasure he gave you was just to much, but you weren’t complaining because you felt more than satisfied.

he kissed your hip bone, tracing his initial against your skin before leaning up and kissing you deeply. his tongue inviting the taste of yourself into your mouth, making both of you pull away content and relaxed. “i don’t know what i did to deserve you,” you admit jokingly, jude letting out a chuckle. “you’re my whole world y/n, my entire being. without you i’m nothing,” jude says.

“your what again? your lucky charm,” you mock, seeing jude smile and nod. “yes my lucky charm, i wholeheartedly swear by it. whether it’s here in madrid or london, the luck you bring to me is always a winner for me,” jude says hearing as you let out a small tired giggle. “what? you don’t believe me?” jude retorts raising his brow in a testing manner. you shook your head no, testing the waters by leaning up and getting close to his lips.

“guess you’ll have to show me then.”

[horseimagebarn]

hello friends and welcome to the horseimagebarn weekly interaction recap where i respond to many of the comments reblogs and asks i received in the past week it has been a while and i appreciate endlessly the happiness i have borne witness to due to my return i shall do my best to continue serve you all as curator of the horseimagebarn

which by the way i do appreciate all of the love i receive in reblogs and asks and comments more than you will ever know and i want to in my heart respond to every single one but i do not want to turn this account into some kind of vanity project and clog everything up with my own responses to praise of me especially when i have nothing else useful or entertaining to add other than my many humble thanks so know that even though i dont always answer i really do read every single reblog and comment and ask i get and it is indescribable the happiness it gives me to know that my stupid horse posts have such a positive impact on other peoples lives and even though i dont say it to every single person i do love all of you dearly

anyway i will respond to things posted both this week and what i have seen from the period of my absence so nothing is missed

you know it brother

this gave me a good chuckle thank you

i do love pigeons i am happy to find that there are three hidden in my post

this is from before i vanished but i hope you feel better now

there are no words i can say to properly alleviate the grief i am sure you are feeling but i hope you find it comforting to know that because of your submission he was loved by many more than he will ever know and i feel very lucky to forever count him among the horseimagebarn horses

literary students rise up

i was not inspired by actual image ids rather it was those twitter accounts that post reaction images with descriptions full of somewhat disparate words meant to help people who are searching for a specific image that led me to this concept i have considered using this style of posting as a type of cool storytelling medium on another blog but i think i need to improve my photoshop skills first to make it really work

being high either shows you the beauty of the world or the evil of it

it is comforting for me to write the posts as well i havent had as much time for creative writing recently especially poetry and this is close enough to scratch the itch i suppose i really enjoy comparing it to a form of literary doodling it pleases me

i am glad to have been of service

maybe that is why the ancient greeks believed horses a creation of poseidon maybe they saw it far before any of us

shoutout monkeywikis cats

[burningupp]

how about skz reaction or headcanon about you being pregnant

oooh okay, I do love when men are whipped for their pregnant partners i find it so cute :((

I'm gonna write this as a shorter headcanon paired with a tiny bit of dialogue for each, I hope that's okay <3

pairing: afab!reader x skz (no pronouns - if i used any, lmk <3)

warnings: really fluffy, mentions of pregnancy (duh), mentions of body insecurity, mentions of anxiety about becoming a parent (jisung), mentions of food, joke about the word daddy (minho), lmk if there's anything else!

Chan

I feel like he would be so extremely happy and proud all the time when you're pregnant. he'd just be like "we made that!! look at my partner, they're carrying our BABY!!" and lowkey everyone would be tired of him talking about you and showing pictures of ultrasounds, you and your belly bc mans shows everyone he talks to for more than 15 seconds. Real proud boi. also, 100% goes to birthing classes with you simply because he's more nervous for the birth than you are :((

"Y/n, have I ever told you how proud I am that you're carrying our baby?" he asks one night. You're half-laying on the couch, because honestly, that's one of the only comfortable positions you have left as your body grows.

You smile over at him, lightly rolling your eyes. He tells you every single day, but you can't say you don't appreciate it - kind of makes some of the pains and aches worth it. Well, more than having a baby already did.

"Yes, my love," you hum. At your answer, he cheeses harder than ever, his heart and chest so full at spending time with you and seeing the way your body changes to accommodate for the little one. He doesn't think he will ever be happier, except for the day that he finally gets to meet your little one.

Minho

okay but this one would definitely be nagging you every single day to take your vitamins and eat enough to feed both you and the baby. he would be cooking every single day, just to make sure himself that the food is safe for you to eat :(( I genuinely think that while he may be a tsundere at times, this would really bring out his affectionate and responsible side in a whole new way. he would definitely whine every time you ask him to do something for you, but then turn around and do it with a smile after like 2 seconds. Whipped.

"Baby, did you take your vitamins today?" the love of your life asks over his shoulder while cooking lunch for the both of you.

"Yes, dad," you sigh dramatically, but you can't help the smile spreading across your features anyway. Instead of bothering him, though, it fills him with indescribable joy. He's going to be a dad, and soon. He can't wait.

"Yah, you eating the vitamins means that the little one will get them, and I'm their dad, so," he says back, squinting at you while he stirs the contents of the pan to make sure it doesn't stick.

He also wants you to have the vitamins, but you don't need to know that. It would ruin his image if you did, obviously. Although he thinks that if he thinks of the concept of being a dad again, he will explode.

"Mhm, well you could do with asking me less than five times before noon, daddy."

His heart damn near bursts, and he can no longer help but grin hugely at you and abandon the food on the stove in favor of kissing your forehead gingerly.

Changbin

the biggest hype man ever. tells you you're beautiful every time he sees you and 100% means it. tries really hard to do research on ways he can help you, and asks his mom and dad questions all the time. buys baby clothes from the moment you tell him that you're pregnant, and buys matching clothes for all of you. hears that swimming can help with the back pain, so he starts taking you swimming every single week - and compliments your swim suit every single time bc it accentuates his favorite belly.

"Wow," you hear your partner breathe as you walk into the living room in your new maternity pants. "I really am the luckiest man alive."

You know he means it, but it doesn't stop you from blushing and looking away. Changbin isn't having it.

"Hey," he says, coming over to wrap his arms around you gently and press a tender kiss to your forehead. "I'm serious. You've never been more beautiful to me. You're incredible."

Your knees grow weak, because honestly, what are you supposed to do with that? You just cheese at him and kiss his cheek in return. "Thank you, baby."

"I mean it," he murmurs, his hand coming up between you to touch your stomach softly. His eyes are so filled with love you almost start crying. "I can't wait to see you be a mom."

"I can't wait to see you be a dad," you grin, and his eyes widen for a second.

"I'm gonna be a dad," he says incredulously, the biggest smile on his face. His eyes glitter with excitement, and you think you've never been more in love with him.

Hyunjin

he's kinda scared, ngl. not to be a dad, that he's super excited for, but for you to give birth. he knows you're strong, but he doesn't know if he can handle seeing you in pain </3 definitely anxious all the time. you want to shower? not without him, you don't. wanna cook? don't you dare. reaching for something on a shelf? absolutely not. you're so annoyed but endeared bc he's so doting and cute :')

You know that Hyunjin doesn't like it when you change the sheets in the state you're in, but you couldn't help yourself. You changed them while he was at practice, and now he's huffing and scowling like you did something to offend him.

"Babe, I'm sorry," you plead, and due to the hormones, you feel tears build up before falling without your permission. At the sound of your sniffle, your partner immediately shoots up from the couch to come check on you.

"Hey, no, it's okay! I'm sorry, I shouldn't be treating you like this," he says sadly. You shake your head though.

"I know you just want to take care of me. It's okay. It's just the hormones," you pout. Hyunjin laughs.

"Okay. In the future, just wait for me, okay? I don't care if I'm tired; you're carrying a freaking baby, in comparison I'm better than ever, even after practice."

You nod, smiling at him and holding your tummy. He's going to make a fantastic dad.

Jisung

a Babie. kinda scared, and this time bc he doesn't know if he's gonna be a good dad. he's still super excited, though! cannot believe the way your body is changing, and keeps touching your belly in awe. also super impressed by how you're handling it all and your knowledge of babies. literally perplexed as to where you learned it all. just like hyunjin, he's super protective. he doesn't know much about pregnancies, they kinda freak him out ngl, but he knows you shouldn't be overexerting yourself. always asks for advice and reassurance, even though you know he's gonna be a fantastic dad. you're just lowkey worried it's gonna leave you with two babies instead of one lmao

"Hey babe?"

It's 3am, but it's not like you could get comfortable enough to sleep anyway. Not being allowed to lay on your back is literally the worst. As soon as you even accidentally try, Jisung yells at you - lovingly, of course.

You give a hum and wait for him to continue.

"What if it doesn't like me?"

You almost laugh, but the genuine fear in his voice makes you pause. It breaks your heart that he's scared, but you understand him - becoming a parent is scary.

"First of all, call my baby an 'it' one more time and I'll punch you," you say softly, and it makes him snort. Success. "Second of all, there's no way they won't like you. Have you met you? You're amazing with kids. You'll be just fine."

"Thanks, love," he mutters, turning around in bed to look at you in the dark. An arm slides around your waist gently, his hand predictably landing on your tummy. "It can't be that bad - I mean, I have you. Super-mom," he says with the biggest grin you've ever seen. You snort.

Felix

hyper, learning everything he can from whoever he can. bothers any staff members with families, asking about their kids and how to parent. literally won't stop touching you for even a second, cheesing 24/7 like a total dork bc he can't believe that the love of his life is gonna give him a baby :(( keeps an eye on you, but isn't overwhelmingly worried - he knows you're fine to do most things despite your huge belly. he mostly lets you judge what you can and can't do, and thanks you every time you tell him something is difficult for you bc he's adorable like that <3

You're cooking dinner in the kitchen, but to no one's surprise, you're not alone. Felix hasn't left your side since he got home and wrapped his arms around you, pressing a kiss to your temple with a huge smile that would put the actual sun to shame.

You're feeling a bit crabby; your back hasn't stopped hurting for the past week. Your bump is becoming a lot more prominent, and boy, are you feeling it. You stir the sauce again, and step away from the stove. Your hands are on your back before you can help it, and you're hissing out a breath through your teeth. Of course, Felix notices.

"You alright, darling?" he asks gently. He's by your side in less than a second, hand on the small of your back to give you some support; it may not be much, but he's trying his best.

"I'm okay," you breathe after a second, smiling at the father of your baby. "My back's still feeling rough, that's all."

"I'm sorry, baby," he pouts, rubbing your back where his hand is resting. "If you want, I can finish this up?"

You consider it for a moment, but ultimately decide that you want to finish. You shake your head, and while you know he's dying to give you a moment to rest, he just nods and kisses your forehead. He doesn't leave your side until you're safely sitting in your chair at the dining table, just in case, but he doesn't try to take over. You have a big dumb grin on your face for the rest of the night.

Seungmin

he's not very outwardly expressive with other people, but it's always been different with you. it's not very overwhelming tho, he just doesn't always know how to express what he's feeling. that changes when you get pregnant, bc suddenly he can't help but constantly tell you how amazing you are. it's insane to him to see your body modify itself to fit your little one, and the thought of a mini you makes him absolutely die on the inside. definitely does as much as he can to make life easier for you, but in the subtlest of ways <3

"Seungmin?" you ask out loud as you pad down the hall to the spare bedroom - soon to become the nursery for your first child together. You smile at the sight of him carefully placing the throw pillows you just bought together on the small loveseat in the room.

"Oh, hey," he says, moving towards you when he sees you. He puts a piece of your hair behind your ear and smiles at you. "Did you see the sandwich I placed on the kitchen counter?"

Your heart is bursting with love (and hormones), so you can't help but well up a little bit. You duck your head to hide the unshed tears, removing any lingering evidence lest the man teases you to infinity.

"Baby," he grins in a teasing tone, eyes twinkling mischievously, "did I make you cry?"

The question is accompanied by a pretentious and over exaggerated pout, so you snort and smack him on the arm. He just giggles and goes to bring you to his chest gently, carefully maneuvering around your belly.

"I'm sorry, baby," he laughs.

"No you're not, you liar," you tease back, and when he laughs even more, you somehow don't mind anymore.

"No, I'm not. Now, let's go get you that sandwich, yeah? Or are you gonna waste all my hard work?"

Jeongin

kinda scared, but somehow calmer than jisung. just like felix, he asks literally anyone he can think of for parenting advice. people get sick of him real quick lmao. really adamant that he do literally everything in the house, since you're "hard at work cooking up a life". gets a tiny copy of every single ultrasound and puts it in his wallet. buys stupid books like "astrophysics for babies" and thinks they will genuinely work </3

"Y/n, come look at this!"

You turn around in the aisle of the grocery store, going back around the corner of the shelf to stare at Jeongin. He's holding up a tiny onesie with a matching hat. You quickly realize it matches his sweater and hat pretty well, and you can't help but giggle at him.

"Baby," you start, but he's not listening.

"Now we just need to get you one, too, and we can all match! Actually, we should just throw everything out and-"

"Jeongin. Sweetheart. Love of my life. You-"

"You forgot father to your baby," he grumbles, which makes you laugh even harder.

"Yes, my sweetheart, the love of my life, and the father of my baby," you correct, and when he looks satisfied, you continue. "I'm only like, 3 months along - we don't need to buy clothing yet."

"But-"

"We also in fact did not need the bottle warmer, the book for teaching our child Chinese, or even the very expensive walker you bought." When he pouts again, you soften a little. "Look. One outfit, okay? But no more until I'm at least 6 months along, yes?"

He's not listening, but you don't care much when he presses an almost bruising kiss to your cheek in glee. You're definitely going to be losing a lot of arguments for the coming 20 years or so.

a/n: that's it! i hope you enjoyed it <3 i'm sorry it took me a while, as i alluded to before, i have some pretty difficult uni courses rn but i am doing my best!

if you like my work, please let me know through a comment or a reblog! it gives me motivation to keep writing &lt;3

[magicalbats]

Also since there HAS been so much content coming out I thought it might be fun to do a bit of a recap on everything and share some of my thoughts! I know there are at least a few people who read my fics without playing the source material or really having much baseline info on the characters before going into it (and you guys are incredibly special to me, rest assured 🫶🥺) so I figured this might be a nice way to do some little introductions!

Sticking this behind a cut so anyone who doesn’t want to see me rambling can easily skip over this post lol

In an attempt to keep things somewhat chronological, I’m going to start with the drip marketing for these two. Iirc they were officially announced one day apart, back to back, and I saw multiple people making angel/devil comparisons with them which really tickled me. 🤭

I’ll talk about Sunday first since he’s by far the character we’ve known the longest and man what a wait this has been. We met him in 2.0 and he is finally going to be playable in 2.7, and in a lot of ways it almost feels surreal that we’ve finally made it to this point. Genuinely it’s been such a bumpy, perilous ride with him. For a good moment there I wasn’t even sure if he was going to make it out alive or not, then I wasn’t sure if he was going to be playable, then leakers were saying he would be joining the Stellaron Hunters and then it was actually wait, he’ll join the Astral Express instead, and then he was getting a new outfit and for a second there it even looked like he might end up getting a new VA too. 🤣 When I tell you this man has had me STRESSED this entire time.

Luckily there is finally light at the end of the tunnel though, and I’m honestly so, so happy with how his playable look turned out! My silly little guy with his youth pastor drip 🙏🥹 He’s honestly my second favorite character in HSR right after Sampo, and I know that probably sounds bizarre for how different they are but look. I’m a woman with a refined, complicated palette okay? xmdkdmdkzk There really isn’t anything at all I don’t like about this man, he’s a little crazy but he’s also soggy and a bit pathetic at the same time, I’m sure you can see why he’s like crack cocaine to me. And the fact we’ll get to travel with him from now on … the fics really do just write themselves.

And that’s not even mentioning the religious trauma, god. I need him more than I can even put into words. Please let me win this 50/50 in a few weeks, I am begging. 🙏 😭

For Ororon I didn’t have that same immediate click with him when we got our first glimpse in the 5.0 Natlan trailer. He barely showed up for five seconds which didn’t help but he was also presented in a very mysterious, brooding kind of way that just didn’t lunge out at me. But the one thing I will always give Mihoyo credit for is they’re very good at layering different personality traits on their characters to make them not so one note. With that in mind I wanted to meet him first before drawing any definitive conclusions on whether or not I liked him.

And I am SO glad I did because he truly subverted every single expectation I think everyone had just based on that initial impression. Not only is he NOT an edge lord of the highest order, he also turned out to be one of the sweetest, cutest characters I’ve ever seen. 😭 He’s just a little guy, your honor. Please do not bully him.

He’s confirmed to be in his early 20’s but he has this very innocent, guileless manner about him that makes him feel indescribably boyish in the most charming way possible. He’s also a grandmas boy, and he calls anyone who he perceives to be older than him granny or gramps. I have some thoughts about him calling us mommy, either accidentally or on purpose … and other thoughts about him using the vegetables from his quaint little garden in less then wholesome ways. 😏 Like, guys. He loves animals, feeds squirrels, raises aphids, and he’s got his own little cottage core farm away from the rest of his village. I don’t think you understand what he’s doing to me.

With his release in game and access to his full bio we’ve also learned that he has a talent for art on top of everything else and look, I’m just saying but he might actually be perfect.

What are we looking at here, you may ask? Ororon’s art, that’s what. 😤

I was very pleased to learn that we actually do have another male character coming up in the Natlan lineup at SOME point in time, but this is the one and only look at him we’ve got so far. His name is Ifa and he’s a veterinarian, and also seems to be Ororon’s bff. I don’t have much else on him yet but we know he exists so I figured I’d mention him. For posterity if nothing else. lol

I fully admit knowing he’s a veterinarian is like having a fast pass into my pants. I love animals so if a man also loves animals there’s not really much else I can do other than fuck him, you know what I mean? 🤣 I’m very curious to find out how accurate the drawing of him is, so I’m really hoping we get to see some visual leaks coming out soon.

I’m also going to take a quick moment to talk about Mr. Reca too. Now, he doesn’t have drip marketing yet but he did appear in version 2.6 in the main storyline and wow, he was such a blast. Definitely a bit unhinged like his lightcone art suggests but in such a fun, mostly harmless way that I can’t help but stan. Also he’s a girl dad to a mechanical frog who acts as his assistant director? Good lord …

Indeed he is a little film nerd freak and also a Memokeeper, we don’t know much else about him just yet but I want to assure everyone here that as soon as I got my first glimpse of him I was looking so incredibly hard and I have not stopped looking once. He resembles Zhongli imo, if he was less unflappable and more prone to whimsy. I like that. A lot. 😏

“We can shoot a movie, we can bang like Rambo 🎶 “

We knew for sure Lighter was coming pretty early on into 1.2 when Caesar and Burnice got their banners so his drip marketing didn’t come as a surprise and he also has the esteemed honor of being the FIRST ever limited male 5 star in ZZZ, and yes it feels like a long time coming even though the game is only a few months old now. ✋😩 All the other men are either 4 stars or standard 5’s so I was more than likely going to pull for him no matter what. Out of desperation, and to show support for the men, even if he ended up not being to my taste.

For better or worse though, he actually turned out to be an amazing character and I fear I am very smitten with him. He’s just so cool and hard boiled, but also a little silly? A little goofy? And man, I don’t want to take up a bunch of time waxing poetic about this, but the fact he’s the only guy in the Sons of Calydon that we know about, surrounded by all women, and he is not the least bit threatened by it just really does something to my brain. Like, I unfortunately can’t add the picture due to Tumblrs image limit but his drip marketing has a little shot of him buying stuff for the girls — makeup and fashion magazines, stuffed animals and snacks and like … that’s real masculinity right there. I can’t decide if he’s like a dad or a big brother to them, but either way I am HERE for it.

I’m genuinely confident beyond a shadow of a doubt that he would have no problem at all buying tampons/pads for you, and I also think he’d be perfectly respectful about it too. He’d ask what brand you prefer, what size and what type, and he’d make sure he came back with exactly that even if he had to traverse a hollow completely blind to get it. I’d bet everything I own on that. I like him a lot. 😌

His banner will be available this coming Tuesday and I am unfortunately going into it on a 50/50, no guarantee, so please pray for my success. djemfkxksmwkw

So remember when I said Mihoyo is good at layering different personality traits on their characters? Yeah, so Harumasa is another great example of that.

When we first met him I (and I think many others too) kind of got the impression that he was a smooth talking playboy type and I even called him a fuck boy on multiple occasions. 🤣 But at the start of 1.3 in Yanagi’s story quest we actually got to see him interacting with his fangirls and he was not feeling it at all so I now suspect that he probably only flirts when it’s beneficial to him, specifically so he can fall back on his good looks to get by and put in less work than everyone else. He understands what pretty privilege is and he intends to use it to his advantage. lol

I actually think he ended up being a very charming character now that weve gotten to see more of him. He’s chronically tired and maybe just a bit lazy, doesn’t like hard work or long days, calls out sick often and looks for any excuse to leave work early. He’s INCREDIBLY relatable tbh. 🤣 Based on a few brief pieces of dialogue in Yanagi’s story I’d started to suspect he might actually be for real sickly in some way but then we got a leaked image of his weapon …. And it’s literally just a pill case full of medicine. So although I don’t yet know all the details I have to say Harumasa has really grown on me since his first introduction where I mistook him for some kind of womanizer. lol And this is exactly why I like to wait and actually get to know Mihoyo’s characters before deciding whether or not I like them, they’re just so incredibly good at layering them together in a way that imo makes them feel more tangible and alive. I genuinely can’t wait to see more of him in the near future!

Gonna go ahead and just toss WuWa right here, this won’t take too long seeing as there’s only one new male announced so far! 🤪 And look, I’m going to be completely honest here. Kuro Games is really pissing me off with this because we still have not seen hide nor tail of Scar since 1.0. Let me say that again. 1.0!! It’s been MONTHS that he’s just been rotting away in jail, let him out already you sick bastards! I want him!! I need him!!

Now Brant … I literally know nothing about him aside from his appearance and his name. He was just revealed the night before last so this is literally all we’ve got atm. But I will say I think he’s real cute and I definitely think I’m going to like him a lot. It took me a while to figure out what he’s reminding me of and then it suddenly clicked that his silly little cape looks a bit like Howl’s Moving Castle, doesn’t it? I’ve never seen the Ghibli film before, just screenshots, so I’m not sure what Howl is like or how that might potentially play into Brant’s characterization but I thought that was an interesting possible connection.

I especially like the deep plunge in his shirt, that shit goes almost straight down to his pants. He might be a little slutty. 😏 And the obvious pirate motifs paired with the harlequin mask on his hip. I am definitely looking. Disrespectfully, I might add. Eager to learn more about this one tbh.

And finally we have the big HSR reveal from the livestream on Friday. 🤭 I was ofc hoping for a preview of the next planet we’ll be going to since version 2.7 will be the last update before 3.0 but I wasn’t even remotely prepared for the trailer that dropped. Three men feels like a HUGE win so yes we are definitely celebrating this one.

Much like Brant all we’ve got so far are faces and names so I won’t be able to talk too extensively about these characters unfortunately. As for my initial impressions though I will say that Anaxa has my attention the most right now. I like the eyepatch and his long hair tied in a loose ponytail over his shoulder, and just his entire general vibe. He definitely seems to be my type and for the moment he’s the one I’m most looking forward to meeting.

Mydei is next in line for me, he looks like he might be a hot blooded masculine type and in fact I’m almost reminded of Itto a bit. I think? He might be equivalent to the god of war, Ares or Mars, so he should be an interesting one.

Phainon is definitely attractive but I think he looks a bit too much like Ayato for me to get super excited for him right off the bat. I don’t dislike Ayato, mind you, but his personality just doesn’t do much for me overall — so I’m tentatively looking forward to actually meeting this guy and seeing how he is in person. All of these characters seem to be alternate versions of ones from Honkai Impact the 3rd which I know close to nothing about but based on what I’ve heard Phainon should be a Kevin expy and I think he’s pretty important? I expect he’ll probably get the characterization to match tbh so I’m choosing to trust the process for now.

And that about wraps it up!

I will say if nothing else, this has taught me that if you’re someone who enjoys male characters the key here is to play multiple games at the same time to get your fill. 🤣 Because individually other than HSR they’re really just giving us crumbs one at a time. Like going into Natlan we truly only had two confirmed boys and maybe Capitano further down the line to look forward to, the rest were all girls. But when I put them all together like this we’ve suddenly got ten men to talk about, and tbh that’s really giving me the pick me up I needed. alsmfcosmszk

So, if anyone’s stuck with me this long, what are your thoughts on these characters? Who’s your favorite and who are you most looking forward to? Are any non players thinking about picking up one of these games? Feel free to share any of your thoughts with me, my inbox is always open! 🫶😊

And of course happy thirsting everyone!

[rozinaaa]

A Little Bit Of Analysis From The Previous Post (About My Most Current Favourite Song Ever)

The official music video for this (not the visualiser, which I posted) is absolutely chaotic, and would probably be my experience if I actually went to a rave, although this song gives me the chills (and an indescribable feeling) everytime I listen to it.

Apart from that, here's my take on those lyrics:

"I ain't gonna lie to you / Life's been fuckin' life-in' / And I need a night or two / To get me unwindin'" - You're just so tired of pretending to be someone that you're not (i.e. having a completely different personality online compared to real life, which can be jarring if you have an actual personal brand), that you just straight up say the truth on how everything's very overwhelming and stressful, to the point where you just need to take some time out from life itself, just to be able to catch your breath and try to figure out who you actually are, away from all of the noise and opinions that come from social media and the rest of the internet.

"I feel like I'm stuck in cycles every day / Come and get me out this loop / So just switch it up for me / It's time to get loose" - Following on from that, using social media (and also the rest of the internet) is an extremely repetitive thing, where algorithms usually feed you the same few things that you already know about and enjoy, but somehow make it extremely addictive so that you keep coming back for more, whether you personally want to come back or not (so for instance, if I predominantly listen to this type of music on Spotify, that algorithm will just keep recommending the same type of songs to me, and I won't really be encouraged to listen to other types of music that I might have previously enjoyed, and if I decide to look at what other UI Designers do (mainly as research for my job), the Instagram algorithm will keep showing me the same type of content, even if I want to look at other things from time to time), and where scrolling is a simple but harmful behaviour that keeps you stuck in that cycle of just consuming stuff every single day, to the point where you start to feel bored and disillusioned by the whole thing, so you take drastic measures (such as deleting the apps off your phone, and blocking access to them in whatever it takes, sometimes even going to the extremes if it's absolutely necessary, just be able to get out of that endless cycle), which might seem strange to other people, although it's to just break free from being stuck in an endless loop all the time.

"If we disconnect / We ain't gotta be aligned" - At first, breaking free from the endless act of scrolling is going to feel weird, since it's a completely different thing, compared to what you're normally used to doing, so it will take some time (probably weeks or months) to get used to a slower pace of life, as well as making peace with the fact that you won't be able to keep up with things at the insanely fast pace that you did.

"We can redirect / Everything that's on our minds, let it go / Change up your frequency and / You'll see how easily you'll disconnect / From everything that's on your mind" - This explains the concept of neuroplasticity (where you can literally rewire your brain to behave differently, which is also known as forming good habits to replace the old ones, even though the inverse is also true and somehow easier to do, so this is literally a case of changing your mindset and approach to things), so that you can focus your attention on other things, to the point where you eventually forget old habits, and where those essentially fall to the wayside, and in terms of the themes that I explore, after spending long amounts of time away from being trapped in an endless loop of scrolling and consuming content all the time, it doesn't really cross your mind that much, although if you randomly decide to scroll and consume content again (after spending months of not doing it), those old habits will spring back in no time.

"Disconnect / From everything that's on your mind" - What might seem really important right now (such as keeping up with influencers) might not actually be that important in the grand scheme of things, and you might not realise this until you take a step back and look at it from the outside, to realise how pointless and strange it is to keep up with someone else's life all the time, multiplied by the hundreds and sometimes the thousands.

"Where's my fuckin' lighter crew? / Put 'em up high then / Now's the time to raise the roof / Wе don't need the fightin'" - I don't know what a lighter crew is (I think it's a purely Drum 'n' Bass term), but to me, this means the people that you actually know in real life, who will usually be by your side no matter what, and will often go unnoticed if you typically keep up with the lives of strangers all the time, so being close with the people that you actually know can improve your life, since they will most likely support you through thick and thin by celebrating your achievements with you, without being involved in unnecessary drama that typically unfolds on social media and doesn't directly affect you, which can negatively affect you in the long run.

"When we're gettin' stuck in cycles every day / We know how to make it through / So just switch it up for me / It's time to get loose" - Having a small group of people that support you no matter what will mean that you're not alone in the struggle of being stuck in endless cycles all the time, since everyone will share their experiences of being stuck in similar situations, and making changes to your lifestyle won't feel so shocking when everyone else around you is also doing it, since you'll now have accountability partners that will notice when you get stuck in a negative cycle.

"If we disconnect / We ain't gotta be aligned / We can redirect / Everything that's on our minds, let it go / Change up your frequency and / You'll see how easily you'll disconnect / From everything that's on your mind" - Even if you're doing it alone, or if you've got a whole tem behind you, it will still feel strange at first, but the more you do it, and the more you change your mindset as well as adapting your lifestyle to adjust to your new mindset, the easier it will be to forget about unimportant things that you once thought were important, as well as being able to prioritise the things that are genuinely important in life.

"Oh-oh-oh, let it go / Oh-oh-oh, just let it go / Oh-oh-oh, let it go / Oh-oh-oh, just let it go / Oh-oh-oh, let it go / Oh-oh-oh, just let it go / Oh-oh-oh, let it go / Oh-oh-oh, just let it go" - This is basically your sign to let go of things (such as scrolling and consuming content all the time, to the point where that's all you ever seem to do) that keep you trapped in endless loops all time, and the repetitive nature of this means that you're more likely to follow through with your intentions to break free from the negative and endless cycles, since it's been said so many times, that you have no choice but to take action.

"Change up your frequency / You'll see how easily you'll disconnect / From everything that's on your mind" - A lot of people think that changing your ways will be extremely hard, but once you change your mindset and attitude towards things, it's a lot easier than you'd expect.

To be honest, it's kind of ironic that a catchy Dance-Pop DnB House song can pack in a lot of self-help advice as much as a self-help book written by stuffy academic locked in an ivory tower, but still make it relatable and appealing to a lot of people who might not have the time to comb through all of the relevant literature or explore all of the concepts (let alone even being aware of them), so to be honest, I wouldn't be surprised if everyone started to use dumbphones (or at the very least, started to question their relationship and dependency on different technologies) as result of this song, although the musicians themselves would probably have to start this trend, which everyone will invariably follow at some point or the other, simply because their favourite musicians are doing it and they want to be like them.

I think it's for reasons like these (where the lyrics deeply resonate with me, but are presented in a light hearted way, so that I'll subsconsciously remember them) that make me enjoy this particular song so much, that I'd be willing to buy a physical copy of it (or on the album which would feature this song), just so that I can own it, because everything about it is extremely timely and relatable for this day and age.

[autoneurotic]

i called michael’s to be like what uh should i not wear and my boss was like mm you know, no open toed shoes, no belly shirts or crop tops and i’m just looking at my clothing rack and it’s fucked up ratio of specifically crop top tank tops vs Regular People Shirts like :/ ok

[kazuchii]

Hihi, can I request hcs for Xingqiu, Venti, Albedo, and Diluc with a gn s/o that seems aloof but they're such an idiot? Like for the first time s/o's bf see's how soft s/o really is and s/o is kinda being a tsundere about how soft they really are. I hope that made sense ashbesjks

Aloof GN!Reader w/ Genshin Boys

A/N: Hellooo! Thank you for requesting! You’ll be my first request so I’ll do my best to fulfill everything! I hope everything seems in character, I really need to get used to writing different personality types.

Synopsis: The Genshin boys discover that their s/o is actually softer than they originally thought.

Characters: Albedo, Diluc, Venti, Xingqiu

Genre: Fluff

Warnings: N/A

Masterlist

Albedo definitely didn’t mind you being distant towards him. I mean, he struggles with interactions in general so he just assumed,

“Oh, they must struggle as well.”

He never saw it as an issue between you since he knew deep down that you deeply cared for him.

He knew you’d always come back to him at the end of the day, he fully trusted that fact about you.

Strangely enough, he found you an intriguing person due to this.

Although the citizens in Mondstadt appear to see him in a positive light, there still are many who fear him deep down. After all, he keeps his secrets zipped up inside him. They know absolutely nothing about him or anything he’s capable of.

But you…you didn’t seem to care about that. And he was thankful for that.

And that brings you to today; a bright sunny day with the rays from the sun gleaming down.

The two of you, along with Klee, were outside the walls of Mondstadt, nearby the lake surrounding the city of freedom.

Today, Klee decided to have a little play date with the two of you. While Albedo was painting away, you and Klee were supposed to play around together.

If he’s being honest, Albedo was a little nervous.

You and Klee had never played together before and due to the distant and cold personality he was used to when it came to you, he wasn’t sure how you’d react with being around a bouncy and hyper child such as Klee.

So when Albedo spotted you playing with Klee, a soft smile on your face, he had a mini heart attack.

Not because he was panicking or anything, but more because he wasn’t used to seeing you smile like this. It made his chest feel warm and fuzzy inside.

Later that day, Albedo made sure to comment on the event.

“Well, it appears you two were getting along fondly.”

“You were watching?!”

“Of course I was watching. How could I look away from that fond smile you had on your face?”

“Shut up!”

“It was very cute.”

“I SAID SHUT UP!”

Diluc and you first met months earlier. You were just another customer at first to him while he was simply a bartender.

Immediately though, he found you interesting.

While his other customers were loud and obnoxious, you would just sit at a table in the corner of Angels Share, minding your own business.

You would only ever speak to ask for another drink, which he would always provide.

“Another glass of apple cider, please.”

He doesn’t know what came over him when he decided he mentally decided to court you. He probably will never know the exact answer either.

It wasn’t the easiest either. Courting you was one of the most difficult things this man has ever done, and somehow he accomplished it in the end.

You were challenging with your distant personality, to say the least. It seemed to him that you wanted absolutely nothing to do with him, that you didn’t see him in the way he saw you.

So when you finally accepted him after weeks, the relief this man felt wash over him in an instant is indescribable.

Now present day, Diluc finds himself heading back to Angels Share in the middle of the night. The moon was directly above him as he silently walked through the city, the only other light source being lanturns.

Due to the drowsiness that he was currently feeling, he thought his eyes were playing tricks on him when he spotted you.

“What in the world are they doing out in the middle of the night?”

But what startled him more than the time on the clock was your facial expression. For the first time, Diluc saw you smile.

Diluc just stood frozen in time as you sat there, rubbing the belly of a stray dog, an empty bowl beside you. He could only assume you’ve been taking care of a stray.

“Who’s a good boy? It’s you, isn’t it!”

“(Y/N)?”

You instantly froze in place, your head creaking towards Diluc’s direction.

“D-Diluc.”

“What in the world are you doing up at this hour?”

“I-I could say the same for you! What are you doing up this late, huh?!”

You shot up from the ground, face beet red.

“I asked you first, love.”

“NOTHING. I WASN’T DOING ANYTHING!”

“That dog below you giving you puppy dog eyes says otherwise-“

“WHATS A DOG??”

Venti was simply just strumming away at his lyre, the sound alluring the Mondstadt citizens around him as he stood at the foot of the Barbatos statue in the plaza.

His eyes were shut as he too, was preoccupied with listening to the soothing sounds.

When his fingers came slowly to a halt, his aqua green eyes peeked open, the sound of the citizens around him clapping filling his ears.

A smile morphed onto his face.

But soon that smile increased in size. Beyond the crowd surrounding him, he spotted you. You weren't doing anything special, just standing there.

“(Y/N)!”

The bard could hardly control the excitement of you watching him doing what he adored.

Although your facial expression read that of a bored person, Venti didn't seem to mind at all at that moment. Instead, he craved your attention.

Soon enough, the bard stood in front of you, his grin somehow getting wider.

"(Y/N)! Did you enjoy the song?"

"It was nice."

Nice? Only nice? Your facial expression said otherwise. Was the song boring to listen to? Did he mess up a note? Maybe it just wasn't your type of song.

Venti's eyes narrowed in thought, his lips pursed and eyebrows furrowed. He wanted you to say something more than just nice, he wanted you to smile for once due to one of his songs.

That is how you found yourself in this situation. Daily, Venti would find you around Mondstadt, play a song for you, and then wait for your response. He wanted you to say something more than the song was nice without a single hint of emotion before leaving.

But each time, that was your answer and Venti was getting annoyed. Not at you of course, but that he lacked the power to make you smile. He’s the Anemo God, but he can't seem to make his s/o smile.

So the astonishment Venti felt when he glimpsed his eyes over towards you after he played yet another song and saw you smiling ever so slightly, he almost dropped his lyre.

"(Y-Y/N)...are you smiling...?"

"Wait what-"

"I saw it! I saw you smile!"

When I tell you Venti was all over the place, I mean it. He was like a bouncy ball with him bouncing in every direction. But he couldn't control it. The pure bliss he felt in that moment took over all his actions.

"I-I didn't do anything. My face twitched."

"You can't lie to me! I saw it with my own eyes!"

The relationship between Xingqiu and you happened almost instantly. The two of you went from total strangers to Xingqiu always dragging you on his little adventures.

It all started with just a single sentence;

"Oh, you like Legend of the Shattered Halberd as well?"

Let me tell you, the look on his face when you said that. He always dreamed of having another person he could converse with when it came to books. So, the moment you said that he wasn't about to let you walk away without learning your name and other books you have read.

A friendship sparked between the two of you. He was one of the only people who would constantly talk with you even if you acted distantly. Soon enough, the two of you became a couple.

He wasn't worried about grabbing you from your home and taking you outside on a little adventure after he just finished reading one of his adventure novels. And of course, he'd always have a book with him during this time. You found that cute about him, but you never showed it.

Whenever the two of you would chat about books, Xingqiu was always shocked whenever you told him you haven't read a certain book.

"You're telling me you've never read The Pale Princess and the Six Pygmies?!"

"Never."

That's when he shoved the first volume in your face, an immediate serious expression on his face. Blinking a few times, you accepted the book from him.

"Read it and then tell me how you feel about it. I can give you the other volumes if you enjoy it."

"Okay."

Xingqiu thought you seemed wary at first to read it. He knew you weren't as majorly obsessed with books as he was, so he internally was just preparing for you to end up not reading it.

He didn't mind it though, reading wasn't for everyone after all.

The following day though, he felt the sudden urge to stop by Wanwen Bookhouse. He just wanted to skim some of the books there, maybe purchase one or two.

But those plans immediately ended when he spotted you. You were leaning against the wooden red railings, the book he had let you borrowed flipped open in your hands. And you were a chunk through it already.

Xingqiu could've worn his eyes were bulging out of his eye sockets because the one other thing he saw was the tiny smile located on your face.

You didn't seem to notice Xingqiu before he was standing right in front of you, a huge grin on his face.

"You seem to be enjoying the book I lent you. Would you care for the remaining volumes?"

You almost dropped the book as a shriek left your mouth.

"Where did you come from?!"

"Well, I felt the urge to stop by the bookhouse and saw you. So, about those other volumes..."

There was a moment of silence between the two of you, your cheeks slightly reddish.

"I'll...pick them up later..."

[glowingbadger]

Can I get a nsfw fic for Diluc where he and reader are vigilantes together? I feel like that would be hot af.

Oh-ho~ what a delightful concept, Friend Anon.

I feel like I've barely had time for fic-style stuff rather than headcanon stuff lately, so forgive me if this is like... idk.. less good xD I hope it's good idk agopwgj

Side note, y'all Genshin people tend to blow up my page every time I post something in this fandom but I get SO few actual requests for it, wtf is up with that

Diluc x GN Reader - vigilantes

NSFW 18+

There aren't many of your typical "dark back alleys" in Mondstadt, but they are there if you go looking for them. If you do, you're sure to make some friends and acquaintances of the sort who also go looking for such tucked away places. And tonight, you're expecting a meeting with a coworker.

You've been tracking a particular Treasure Hoarder for weeks now. He's a cut-throat sort, in that he literally cuts throats, and quite gleefully at that. He's scum, but he's a valuable asset. He's the only Treasure Hoarder idiotic and brave enough to have set foot inside of Mondstadt's walls as of late, and you're not about to lose the opportunity to track him back to his hive. And it shouldn't be too difficult to do so- as long as a certain "Darknight Hero" doesn't decide to step in.

Somehow, you have a feeling he will.

And as you crouch atop the sloping roof of a typical Mondstadt residence, observing your pet rat scurrying through alleyways he clearly doesn't know as well as he ought to by now, you glimpse a familiar flash of red. Moving as quickly as one can with a sword that matches his height while retaining some measure of stealth, Diluc clearly has your subject in his sights. You barely contain a sigh, your brow lowered in flat exasperation.

You'll have to act quickly- Diluc is rapidly closing in on your only source of intel, blade at the ready and eyes devoid of mercy. Never taking your eyes from his dark silhouette in the alley below, you gracefully maneuver from the roof to a nearby balcony banister, then down a railing. Your feet meet the stone pavement silently just as muscles flex and the greatsword hefts into the air above a fiery mane of hair. Without a sound, you draw your own blade and press it firmly to Diluc's throat. He hesitates for just a moment, his surprise causing his footing to waver for the instant you need to tug him back against the wall.

"You-" he hisses with fury in his eyes, "What are you doing?!"

"Keeping you from killing my only lead!" you shout-whisper back to him as the Treasure Hoarder slides around the corner and into the open streets. He's a lost cause now- acting out in the open would draw unacceptable attention to both you and Diluc. For now, the edge of your sword indents his skin, emphasizing the unfortunately seductive sight of his adams apple bobbing as he swallows hard.

"He's a killer." he spits out bitterly.

"Yes," you reply, "And so are all of his friends. And the only way to snuff them all out is to let him live- for now."

His weapon vanishes for the time being, but you know his strength well enough to know that this does not make him 'unarmed.'

"Go join the Knights if you enjoy wasting time so much."

"Oh, perhaps I should," you say, "It was a Knight who gave me the intel to track this target, after all," the playful lilt in your voice guides him to the exact conclusion you want him to reach. What you don't expect is for Diluc to use his considerable strength to spin you back against the wall, jostling your sword from your hand and swapping your positions, with your wrists now pinned to the plaster behind you. You're startled for a moment- but not so much so that you miss the way his eyes scan your body before him.

"It was a strutting peacock that needs its beak removed, more like," he says, his voice low as he looms over you. Your bodies are so close, the space between you seems charged with electricity.

"Is that a touch of jealousy I hear?"

"You're infuriating," he gives this utter non-answer just before his lips reach yours. His kiss is deep and intense from the start, pressing you to the wall as his tongue thrusts into your mouth.

This has always been your favorite way to vent your mutual frustration. There's something about each of you that only the other knows; a part of you both that only the two of you have access to. Those cordoned off sections of your hearts instinctively reach toward one another, binding you and the Darknight Hero together despite all of the myriad ways you find yourselves at odds. Adrenaline and emotion drives your bodies together, and your pulse pounds as his tongue wrestles yours and the warmth of his body catches yours on fire.

You do your best to keep up with Diluc's frenzied need, parted lips working rhythmically against his, yet you can feel the rush of arousal through your body and the fight leaves you almost instantly. In one final act of provocation, you urge your thigh between his, rubbing it gently against the growing heat you feel there. His cock twitches with interest, hardening against the front of his pants. Diluc groans into your kiss, his hands releasing yours to travel down the contours of your sides.

When those strong hands reach your backside, they shamelessly grab at your curves, pulling you firmly against him and encouraging your thighs around his hips. Your feet are barely touching the ground anymore, and you can feel his growing cock grinding into your heat. His impatience is as evident in his touch as it's always been in his fighting style; though, the difference is that now, you're happy to match his pace. Thoroughly trapped between his body and the wall, your hands run across his chest, happily indulging in the plains of muscle beneath conservative clothing.

Then, you nip at his bottom lip, dragging it between your teeth and revelling in the husky groan this pulls from him. His hips sway against you, rubbing the head of his now rock-hard member against you. Quite suddenly, his hands leave your body, then instead, cup both sides of your face. Diluc holds you in place as he kisses you so hard and deep that your legs tremble and you worry your knees may give. And at last, the airy moan you offer him in reply seems to break the last of his restraint.

"Towards the wall," his urgent whisper grazes your skin, and it's all you can do to keep from moaning at the intoxicating, masculine tenor of his voice. Instead, you obey him, turning to the wall, only to feel him pinning you once more from behind. His lips are at your ear, his tongue tracing its curve, until he says softly,

"Truly a shame you can't always be this cooperative."

"I- I'm very cooperative when it gets me what I want..." you half-moan as his lips press heated kisses down the side of your neck. His fevered touch is everywhere, running up your sides to caress your chest, fingers briefly circling your nipples and causing you to arch against him.

"One day I'll make you beg for it." he muses softly, less like any 'dirty talk' you've ever heard, and far more like he's scolding you. Either way, it sends a hot wave of arousal plunging to your core. With a soft whimper, you urge your ass back against him, grinding onto the stiff length of his cock. Tonight won't be the night you beg, but you do need to show him how badly you want him- and he graciously complies.

Diluc's thumbs hook into the hem of your breeches and tug them down over the curve of your ass. Despite his own wants and needs, he does pause to appreciate the sight of you offering yourself to him, lower body exposed and face flushed when you glance over your shoulder at him. A single large hand runs over your backside, cupping and grabbing at it idly, enjoying the sight of your flesh over-filling his grip. Then, with a low hum, his eyes meet yours as he opens the front of his trousers and reveals his thick, twitching manhood to you. It's dark and veined, a powerful, masculine member that practically makes your mouth water- and you can't stifle an eager whine as he positions himself behind you once more.

The warm head of his cock presses to your greedy little hole, and Diluc wastes no time pushing himself steadily into you. With each inch, he splits you open around him, and your body tenses and arches against his strong frame.

"Diluc..!" you gasp out the moment he's buried into you to the base and his tip hits your core. Sometimes you think you'll never truly be accustomed to how fully he fills you.

"Quiet," he whispers harshly, though the way the full length of his cock swells at your cry tells him he quite enjoys hearing you. Yet as his hips begin to move and the veins and contours of his cock grind against your inner walls, it becomes harder and harder to keep your voice down. He feels too incredible, reaches too deep, stretches you out so nicely around him until you fit him perfectly. Your entire body burns, and you cling to the wall in front of you to take some of the strain off of your trembling legs. Before long, you're gasping and panting for him as he bucks into you, the head of his cock dragging against some indescribably wonderful spot each time he thrusts forward.

"You're so... difficult..." he grumbles, and you hear him move, unsure of what he's doing until you feel his gloveless hand sliding fingers into your mouth. Your eyes roll back, your body clenches and squeezes around Diluc's shaft. Perhaps he'd only meant to keep you quiet, but the depravity of being fucked senseless by the most sought-after gentleman in Mondstadt in a back alley while being made to suck on his fingers is simply too erotic to withstand. Your lips and tongue worship those fingers as he pounds you against the wall, railing into your desperate body until the hot, winding knot of pleasure in your gut comes undone in a sudden, mind-numbing rush.

"Nngh- gods...!" even Diluc, with all of his strict self discipline, can't keep from groaning as your climax seizes you. He can feel your body tense and release, feel your inner walls tightening and gripping around him, clinging around his cock like you can't bear to be without it. He draws closer, his hard chest against your back, his head sinking down to the crook of your neck. His thrusts lose their timing, uneven and inelegant as he nears his own release.

You feel the sting of his teeth at your flesh. Diluc silences his own sounds of pleasure, burying his face at your neck and sucking a dark love-bite to your skin. But even this jolt of wonderful pain can't distract you from the way his cock flexes deep within you, swelling and straining out against your tight hole. Then, at last, his breath catches, and his cum begins to shoot out into you. The first impact causes you to whine around his fingers, which he punishes with a harsher bite at your shoulder muscle, even as he continues to fill you. Wild red hair brushes your face as you rally your strength to keep yourself in place for him and he fucks the remainder of his climax into your waiting body. For a moment, he holds within you. You each struggle to regain composure and steady your breathing- no easy feat when his manhood is stubbornly refusing to soften even the slightest bit. Then, with a barely restrained sigh, Diluc eases out of your spent hole.

His hand comes to rest on the wall in front of you, trapping you against his body for a moment longer. You have just enough room to move your hands to tug up your clothing and cover up, and he does the same with his free hand. But before releasing you, he places a lingering kiss to the spot just below where your jawline meets your ear. It's a surprisingly tender spot, and the soft warmth of his lips seems to spread across your skin from that point.

"Be safe getting home." he murmurs, and you find yourself wishing dearly that you could see his expression as he says it. Though, perhaps he fully intends to keep that image from you. Then, he straightens his posture, the cool night air filling the space where his body had warmed you.

"And next time," he adds, having regained his usual business-like tone, "Don't expect me to be so generous if you stand in my way."

[codename-adler]

Death of Heroes

Because not even Neil can outrun the ephemerality of men.

Renee is the first one to go. 

Nearing sixty but never reaching it, she is outlived by Abby and Wymack. At least Stephanie Walker is waiting for her at the gates of Heaven, but for the rest of her Foxes, the loss is heavy.

It’s cancer. Leukemia.

It started with the bruises from her sparring matches with Andrew not healing very well. Then not at all. After decades of maintaining these monthly meetings, of keeping her body healthy, Renee finally has to give it up. She knows something is wrong, and she knows that these sessions won’t be of any help, now.

Then the extreme fatigue starts. Still, Renee doesn’t do a thing about it. Or at least, she lets life go its own course. She looses weight, which she already doesn’t have much of. But then the nosebleeds begin, and it’s no use telling Allison to stop worrying. The diagnosis is unsurprising, yet still shattering. And it’s not a good prognosis either, but it’s still not bad enough for the doctor to give up the Five-Year survival plan.

Renee has to speak up. Ally, I don’t want to do this. She has to put her foot down. Allison, my love, it’ll be okay. I won’t get better, you and I both know that. But it can be okay. It can still be good.

Renee doesn’t get treatment. Renee doesn’t tell anybody, except Andrew. Because Andrew knows, somehow, that she made a terrible, irreversible choice. Because Andrew only deals in truths. Because Andrew is Andrew, and just as he needed her all those years ago, she needs him now.

A little more than six months pass, with less and less outings from Renee and more and more excuses from Allison, and Renee gets sick. Really sick. It starts like a regular cold. Then it looks more like the flu. And suddenly it’s pneumonia, and respiratory difficulties, and lung failure. She’s in that hospital bed, wearing that gown, breathing in that mask. Renee finally nods to Allison, giving her consent.

Ally makes the call.

Only Andrew and Dan make it in time.

Renee Walker goes out like a light.

The Foxes, who had once upon a time been used to murders, life-threatening schemes and acts of extreme violence, had never really known Death itself. The simple, yet inevitable fate of human lives. Of going quietly into the night. It’s all so quiet. So anticlimactic. It’s so quiet, too quiet, too heavy with silence. This time, there is no one to blame, no one to punish, no one to take responsibility.

It’s just life. It’s just death.

Wymack and Abby can’t believe that one of their Foxes, on of their kids, left before them. Renee’s Korean roots made her look barely a day over forty, which made it all so much worse. Renee’s death takes a toll on every single one of them. Because it’s Renee, the best of them. Because all her papers are in orders, her will to date, her wishes known; just as when she was alive, she leaves no chaos behind her.

There is nothing and no one to be mad at, except life.

In the cemetery where Stephanie Walker is buried, Andrew buys a large lot of land. (Large enough to one day welcome all the Foxes) The tomb is moved over there, and Renee’s name is added. A tree is planted above her scattered ashes. It’s very small, very fragile, but with the years, it grows strong.

For the first time, the Foxes realize that, despite going through Hell and back in their youth, they are not immortal. There is nothing to be done about that, but it hurts. It hurts to lose their angel this way, so soon, so suddenly. It hurts to lose, period. It feels like a failure, like giving up. They lost her. They lost.

But somehow, they gained something else they might never know about. Renee might have been the only religious one among them, but that didn’t stop her from becoming their Guardian Angel. Because somehow, from then on, the Foxes were spared.

Let me show you.

Just as Bee had a few years before Renee, Abby, then Wymack, simply die in their sleep, no fight, no agony. None of them have to see another Fox go before them. They don’t have to go through that indescribable ordeal ever again. They are spared the pain.

Then decades pass, enough for the remaining Foxes to grow very old, and live very long. Not infinitely, but long enough.

Matt is the next one to go.

Matt has worked hard all his life, both mentally and physically. It comes to no surprise, then, that arthritis chose to invade his body. For the first few years living with the diagnosis, natural medicine and osteopathy are enough to keep the pain at bay. It doesn’t stop Matt from doing anything. He babysits his 9 grandchildren with Dan every week; he goes on roadtrips with Dan every summer; he goes on a light jog with Dan every day.

It’s just that one day, it’s not enough anymore. Slowly, almost imperceptibly, the pain becomes too much for Matt to do his day-to-day activities. And really, the pain, he could take; it was an old friend, a familiar feeling, almost like a sixth sense.

It was the mental toll of it all that he couldn’t take. To have to say no to seeing his grandchildren. No to driving around endlessly and aimlessly for hours. No to waking up in sync with Dan every morning, and no to their routine, and no, and no, and just- not living.

For the first time in a long time, Matt doesn’t want to do this anymore.

But he does, still. He smiles, and he lies, and he tries to will away the pain.

It all comes down to one afternoon, when he takes his painful walk of the day around the neighborhood. There are three little kids playing Exy in their driveway, when suddenly a ball escapes their racquets and rolls down in the street. The smallest kid runs after it, runs and runs and runs, without looking. Kind of like Neil, Matt thinks to himself before his body acts of his own. The kid doesn’t see the car, and the car doesn’t see the kid. Matt sees both.

The BMW is going way over the limit, its sleek black sides reflecting the sun too brightly. Despite his pain, despite his age, despite his now slow reflexes, Matt leaps. He screams at the kid to stop and turn around, to let the ball roll away, but to no avail. 

Matt pushes the kid away in time for the car to hit him instead, and only him.

The rest becomes a blur, but the final verdict is as such: broken hip, shattered leg, probably won’t walk ever again, even with surgery. The doctors and surgeons warn Matt that with his age, his pre-existing condition, and his drug history, surgery might kill him. But Matt refuses to be bedridden for the rest of his already miserable life. Dan knows that. She knows that he has to try. Knows that he might not pull through. She also knows that Matt wants to go, has wanted to for a while now. 

She calls Neil. She calls Allison. From there, all the Foxes are bound to get the news. Matt promises to wait until their arrival before going into surgery. In the meantime, the nurses start a morphine line, after warning the couple very strongly about the side effects and the risks. But Matt is in pain, terrible pain, and it’s a compromise to wait for his Foxes. It takes about a week for all of them to come to his bedside, with Nicky being last, coming all the way from Germany. Neil and Allison barely leave his room; Dan doesn’t at all. The others take turns, leaving as much space for Matt’s kids and grandkids as their hearts can allow.

The open spot for Matt’s surgery is on a Friday.

Matt Boyd does not make it to Friday. 

The morphine is too heavy on his heart. It was a possible outcome, not as alarming as the upcoming surgery, but... Matt had secretely wished to go ever since and- maybe, up there in Heaven, someone heard him... 

Dan and Matt had had a mutual understanding, that it was okay, but it doesn’t make it any more easy to let go. 

Two months into Matt’s departure, Allison moves in with Dan. She walks her through every stage of grief. She grieves all over again herself, too. But they make it.

Same goes for Andrew with Neil. Neil doesn’t know loss like this. Death like this.

And yet. And yet. Deep, deep down, Neil is scared. That after all his years of running, and fighting, and lying, he won’t get that peaceful ending Matt was granted.

But Neil lives.

And Nicky leaves.

A few months after Matt, he and Erik simply stay in the States. They say it’s because they want to be close, because they don’t want to miss anything, because they don’t want to risk a Fox leaving without a chance at saying goodbye. Because Nicky misses his Aaron and his Andrew.

Which are all valid and true motives. It’s just not the whole truth.

Nicky has dementia. Alzheimer’s, to be precise. Diagnosed about a year ago. It’s not bad yet, but- It’s the endless back-and-forth between the house and “der Supermarkt” because Nicky forgot what he drove there for in the first place. It’s forgetting words in all the languages Nicky speaks. It’s freaking out at all the Germans speaking German, because Nicky sometimes believe he is still living in America. It’s not finding the Columbia house and panicking when Nicky can’t get a hold of Andrew or Aaron.

It’s hard, it’s heartbreaking, it’s terrifying, but it’s manageable.

Once Nicky and Erik settle back down in North Carolina, they both wonder how long it’ll take before the twins figure it out, because there is no way Nicky is telling them, but he also knows nothing can get past his twins.

And he’s right. Between Aaron’s acute knowledge of Medicine and Andrew’s reknown lie-detector skills, it takes about 14 days for them to take Nicky hostage and demand the truth. 

As the year comes to an end, Nicky’s dementia doesn’t seem to progress that much. He seems to escape the worst. He doesn’t forget anyone. He doesn’t become aggressive, doesn’t go missing, doesn’t lose any function of his body. Without looking too closely, Nicky is simply getting old. 

The twin girls he and Erik adopted get to move back in for a little while, having lived in the U.S. all their lives and seeing their parents fly to Germany after their retirement. They know, too, and try to make the most of it. They are lucky. They are so lucky. Nicky is a miracle patient.

In the end, though, it’s Nicky’s body rather than his mind that gives out. Once you reach a certain point in time living with the disease, but without the general complications of it, eventually the brain has trouble managing all the organs of the body. So instead of forgetting to eat, or forgetting names and faces, sometimes your brain doesn’t remember how to make your heart beat. Or how to make make your lungs breathe.

Nicky Hemmick stops breathing in the middle of the night, after having wished his twin daughters goodnight, texted his other set of twins goodnight, and kissed his husband goodnight. Nicky had thought, then, that it was indeed, a good night.

Just as he had remembered his Foxes until the end, he was remembered by them as the big-hearted lover that Heaven had just gained as its new angel.

Too soon after him, though, it’s Allison’s turn. 

It’s not that she’d simply been waiting around for the day she could be reunited with Renee. She just didn’t understand why her Foxes kept leaving, and why she was still stuck here without her other half. 

She didn’t just wait, though. She helps Dan out with the grandkids, and sometimes the grown-up kids too. She volunteers a lot. She gives back to the Columbia community, and all around the world. She travels to places she’s never been, places that remind her of Renee, but are void of painful memories. She empties their bucket list, and much more. The last thing Allison has yet to do, the only thing left to do, is mending her relationship with her parents. Or parent. Singular. In spite of everything, including the death of her husband, Francesca Reynolds was still standing strong at the head of the Reynolds empire. 100 years old was nothing when you lived in spite. 

In a twisted way, Allison believed that maybe her mother was the last piece she needed to mend before she was allowed to go. That despite being gone for years, Renee was still there somewhere, looking out for her and making sure she didn’t have any regrets. 

So Allison accomplished the unthinkable, the unimaginable, the impossible. For the first time in decades, she flew back to the Reynolds estate and spoke to her mother. In person. 

It was not the emotional reunion Renee might have hoped for, but it was a reunion still. That was more than enough for Allison. They didn’t talk about the big things. The important things. But they talked. They talked. And they scheduled another talk. 

Back home with Dan, Allison embraced her friend and let the tears fall. She was grateful for her friend, but both of them knew that these were not the arms Allison wished to be held in. She went to rest a bit before dinner, and she tried to imagine how it would feel like to have Renee hold her again.

For someone as loud, as present and as strong as she was, Allison Walker slipped quietly from time. 

When Dan found her, she could only smile tearfully. She played with her hair one last time as she called her Foxes.

Allison left Dan in charge of her finances, and so she took over her charity duties and went above and beyond to honor her friend’s memory. Her sister.

Dan thought she would be next. She wished, she hoped, she prayed to be next.

She wasn’t.

Kevin was.

He might have been the biggest and hardest loss to weather. It wasn’t a feeling that could be explained. As painful as it had been to lose Renee, and Matt, and Nicky, and Allison, losing Kevin was... the great and terrible 10, as they’d say.

Kevin should have died way sooner. His liver should have given out because of all the alcohol it had endured in Kevin’s youth. His heart should have given out because of all the stress it had faced for most of Kevin’s life. All the bad things that could happen with old age should have happened to Kevin, but they didn’t. They didn’t. 

Death came knocking one day, and politely asked him if he would please follow them, and Kevin simply took it as a sign that his time was up.

That day, Kevin had felt a numbing pain in his chest all morning long. Used to little injuries here and there, he hadn’t thought anything of it. And he certainly wasn’t about to worry his doctor of a husband... 

However, as the sun reached it’s highest in the sky, Kevin couldn’t really hide his pain any longer. He had lain down on their couch for a bit, but he couldn’t seem to get back up. It was too exhausting. So he called for Aaron, as loud as he could in the state he was. 

As Aaron stumbled into the living room, Kevin tried to use his softest voice to inform his husband of the situation. Aaron immediately called an ambulance, and when the vehicle took them both away, he reached for his phone again to make, once again, a terrible call to their Foxes. But through his oxygen mask, Kevin reached out to grap his wrist and whispered, with difficulty, just Neil... just Andrew...

Because here’s the thing: Kevin loved his Foxes, and his Foxes loved him back. Immensely. 

He loved them so much he had married one, with another one of them as best man (Neil), another as his husband’s (Andrew), and yet another one as their celebrant (Renee). 

They loved him so much that it was only short of worship by a hair or two. And Kevin knew that. He loved Dan like a sister. And by extension, he loved Erik like a brother, too. And he loved all the Foxes’ children and grandchildren like his own, despite never being a parent himself. 

But Neil and Andrew... There were no words for what they were to him. He knew that he wouldn’t have to talk them through it. He knew they would be the only ones strong enough and close enough to hold Aaron up in case it all turned to shit the moment he passed the hospital doors. 

And being the History nerd he had always been, Kevin had written letters, a long time ago. To his Foxes. Most of them had left before him, and so he could never give them their letters, but Dan, and Erik for Nicky, could still have those letters. Kevin poured everything into these letters. It had taken him years, ever since Renee’s departure. He wrote, and threw away, and started again, until he got it right. Nine letters, for his nine Foxes. Andrew knew about it. He’d give Nicky’s and the upperclassmen’s to Dan and Erik, and they’d understand. Kevin didn’t want them to be there, at the very end of it all. He just wanted Aaron. And Neil. And Andrew.

Those three had letters waiting for them, too. Andrew would hand them over a month later. But he would never open his.

Andrew and Neil arrived just before 1 PM. Kevin was hooked on all sorts of IVs and still had the oxygen mask on. His heart monitor was beeping very, very slowly, erratically. He was still Kevin Day in all his gloriousness, but he was much more Kevin, their beloved Kevin.

On one side of the hospital bed, Aaron never let go of Kevin’s hand. On the other side, Kevin removed the mask and weakly motioned for Neil to take the other hand. But Neil was stunned. Frozen. So Andrew came up behind him, and held Kevin’s hand. 

It would be the first, and the last time.

Just as Neil finally sprung into action and went to put a hand on Kevin’s shoulder, feeling his wiry muscles and his fragile bones underneath the hospital gown, Kevin closed his eyes. 

The heart monitor began flatlining.

Neil looked at the monitor, then to Kevin. He looked at Andrew, then back at Kevin, and then at Aaron. His eyes couldn’t stay focused on one thing. He was still hoping. He was still refusing.

Aaron lowered his head. Kissed Kevin’s hand.

Andrew held on tighter to Kevin’s other hand. Gripped the back of Neil’s neck.

Kevin took Death’s hand, which felt a lot like Aaron’s, and Andrew’s, and Renee’s, and walked away.

Aaron unplugged the monitor. And called it.

Time of death: 13:01.

It took exaclty one month, day for day, for Aaron to leave as well. They called it the Broken Heart Syndrome. On the surface, Aaron had held it together. But Andrew knew. He saw. That he was losing him as well. 

Some could say that, by handing over Kevin’s letter, Andrew killed his brother. But those who would say that didn’t even begin to understand the complexity of the bond between twin brothers. Especially not the Minyards. 

Because what Andrew really did, with that letter, was gifting Aaron with relief.

Peace. Quiet. 

Love. 

Aaron could exhale, now. He would see Kevin soon, now.

And so in the same room, in the same bed as his husband’s, Aaron Minyard forced Death’s hand and demanded to see Kevin again.

And then there were three.

Dan lived for so long that she started to fear outliving her children. She felt old, so old. In her head and in her heart. She did not believe in a God, but she often found herself praying to someone, anyone. She did not believe in angels and demons, but she often wondered how long they would keep her from Death.

So she waited. For the days to go and the nights to pass. She barely ate anymore. She barely moved. She was only feeling okay when she slept outside, in her chair in the backyard, the sun shinning on her beautiful face. She could sleep for hours there, surrounded by her lively garden. The wind swayed her skirts, the trees whispered in her ears. It was okay.

And at the same time, it wasn’t. 

She was tired. She was lonely. Even Erik, a couple of years ago, had gone to rejoin his husband. Neil visited her at least once a week, but he still had Andrew. He couldn’t understand, nor could he stay away from him for too long. He would miss him too much.

Every year she celebrated another birthday, and every year she blew her candles wishing they were her last.

And at last, her wish came true.

Dan was expecting one of her kids to come by in the afternoon. The Carolina sun was shinning quite hard on her, so she had placed her chair in way that let the sunlight hit the back of her head, turned away completely from her house. Her daughter knew exactly where to find her when she arrived, and so she didn’t wait for a response to her presence before making her way down into the garden. She had called her mother multiple times, and had assumed she was sleeping when she hadn’t answered.

Dan was not sleeping.

Dan Wilds had left this world, the sunlight pouring down on her like the radiant goddess that she was.

Being one of the last Foxes, it took a day before Neil and Andrew got the news of her death. They don’t get involved in the funeral preparations, but they show up. And that’s enough. 

People don’t really bother them anymore, so they can bid farewell to their Captain in relative peace. They come by Dan’s house aftwerwards, too, and help her kids out with everything. Yes, even Andrew. 

Dan’s death makes them reflect the most.

About the Foxes. About each of their departures. How they all lived a good and long life. How they all died a good and quiet death. 

They think about how they were always the ones nearing death, always fighting to stay alive. About how they died a million deaths before the age of 18.

They think about how they are the last ones standing, even after everything. 

They survived. They lived. 

(They loved)

Neil and Andrew should not have gotten this far. They should not have lived this long. They shouldn’t have. But somehow, somewhere above, someone has watched over them and made sure that they didn’t get the ending they should’ve had, but the ending they deserved.

Neil and Andrew don’t really want to die. They don’t really want to live on either. But they take every day that they are given, to be with each other, to mend their hearts still, to breathe. 

They take every breath they can.

They wonder who will leave first. Who will have to say goodbye and stay behind, who will have to wait. 

It’s a fear neither of them had ever thought they’d have. Not like that.

And it’s only a matter of time before they get their answer. They are, after all, getting very old. It is both a blessing and a curse.

After decades of partnership, Neil and Andrew still go to bed the same way they did when they were eighteen. Both facing each other, their hands joined in the middle, their nose a breath apart.

After decades of peace, Neil and Andrew still wake from sleep at the slightest abnormality.

Which is why the minute Neil Josten gives out his last breath, Andrew awakes.

Neil’s hand in his is still warm and his skin is still soft. His hair, although completely white for quite some years now, still have that bronze glow to them. They’re still curly, and soft to the touch. Andrew passes a hand through them before resting it on the back of Neil’s neck. 

He looks at Neil like it’s the first time, tries to memorize every detail of his beautiful face. He rubs circle in his skin, and takes in everything that was, that is Neil. His husband. His junkie. His rabbit. His pipedream. His lover. His love.

Andrew doesn’t move from their bed. 

When he has finally spoken everything that he feels to Neil, from the safety of his mind, Andrew moves closer to him so their foreheads touch and noses align. He takes Neil’s lifeless hand again, and kisses it. He sets their hands back down, between the two of them, and looks at Neil one last time.

And slowly, Andrew Minyard closes his eyes, forever.

[nat-20s]

Part 5 of Wonderful! Au. *boyband voice* banter’s back alright!

Also on AO3

~*~

Jon: Hello everyone, and welcome back to our regular format. If my husband being horribly soppy-

Martin:-hey!-

Jon: -turned you off the how, this should be a refreshing return to formula, though I can’t guarantee there won’t be further horrible soppiness-

Martin, performatively under his breath: -most people thought it was charming-

Jon: -as that tends to happen when one is recording with the love of their life. If last week’s episode is the only one that you like, too bad, I’m back in full form, and should be at least through the rest of the season.

Martin: This show doesn’t have seasons? Due to the whole lack of a narrative thing?

Jon: I was referring to spring.

Martin: Oh, right.

[A beat passes.]

Martin, flatly: Oh. Great goof hon.

Jon, smug: Thank you.

Jon, sincere: Also, before we get properly started, I did want to actually thank everyone who sent well wishes.

M artin: Yes! We got positively inundated with lovely messages, it definitely brightened both of our days. I would even say it was wonderful.

[Jon groans.]

Jon: I am..not proud of the energy we’ve created for this episode so far, and we haven’t even hit the small wonders. Speaking of, do you have a small wonder this week?

Martin: Mine’s bad action movies.

Jon: Really? I had no idea you even liked them, let alone consider them wonderful.

Martin: Okay, so, saying I like them is a bit of a misnomer? It’s more that I like what they can do more than the movies themselves?

Jon: Elaborate?

Martin: It probably comes as a surprise to no one that I’ve tried my hand at a fair amount of mindfulness and mediation techniques. I’ve found poetry and journaling have been helpful for actually processing life events and whatnot, but when it comes to giving your brain a hard wipe and reset, nothing is half as quick and effective as a shitty shoot-em-up. Somethings about 2 hours of cartoonish, pg-13 violence held together with the absolute loosest of plots brings me to a state of mental blankness that would make a monk jealous.

Jon: How have I never witnessed you doing this? When are you sneaking off to go see Micheal Tarantino or who ever films?

M artin: That’s definitely not the right name.

Jon: Martin, dear, I don’t care. And you’re dodging the question.

Martin, fond: I’m not dodging anything. Since apparently we’re getting into it, you haven’t caught me cavorting with a movie involving more explosions than character development lately because I haven’t been. Haven’t needed it, in recent years. Turns out when you’re not crushingly lonely and working a literal nightmare of job, there’s less of a drive to try and escape your own thoughts. Shocker, I know. Still, to anyone out there that feels like their brain is on fire, go try watching a fast and furious. Any of ‘em, it doesn’t matter. Or even better, Chronicles of Riddick. I can’t remember a single goddamn detail of that movie, which makes it perfect for what I’m talking about.

Jon: I have the strong feeling that th is is a “mileage may vary” scenario.

Martin: Well, yeah, that’s this whole podcast. Plus, I imagine that movies like this would cause more stress to someone who cares about, say, world-building or rules consistency.

Jon: I wonder who you could possibly be referring to.

Martin: It’s a purely hypothetical person, love, don’t worry about it. Any small wonders?

Jon: Yes! Particularly relevant to the last week, my small wonder is stripping the sheets from your bed when it’s been too long between washes.

Martin: How very specific. M ost people would just say ‘clean sheets’.

Jon: Well, for one, I’m fairly certain that we’ve already covered clean sheets-

Martin: Shit, have we? Thank god other people keep track of this, otherwise this show would be unbearably repetitive.

Jon: Christ, yes. I typically check the website a good three times while prepping, and every about one out of those three times I find I’m trying to do an topic we did 30 episodes again. Anyway, um, it’s just nice, I think. When you’ve been too busy or sick or away for awhile, tossing the sheets in the wash makes a room instantly seem nicer. Of all the chores out there, this one, at least for me, has the highest reward to effort ratio.

Martin: Hard agree. Especially when the y have that slight funk of having been around to long, getting rid of that is such a relief. Speaking of, we need to change our sheets soon.

Jon: We can do it after the episode. Who goes first this week?

Martin: Considering last week was only me talking, I’m gonna say it’s you.

Jon: Alright, then. My first thing this week is Martin K. Blackwood.

Martin: Absolutely not!

Jon: Oh, you can do a whole episode on me, but I can’t do one little segment on my husband, whom I love very dearly?

Martin: Not while I’m sat here, no!

Jon: So you’re saying you don’t want me to tell the internet that your resolve to be kind even in the face of indescribable cruelty is one of the mot breathtaking things I’ve ever witnessed, or how I find it incredibly endearing when you get so emotional that your voice comes out as a squeak, or even that, on a more base level, you’re very physically attractive, and I could lose entire days thinking about your arms alone?

Martin, audibly blushing, voice the aforementioned squeak: Oh my god, Jon!

Jon, laughing: Then it’s probably for the best that my actual first thing is best friends.

Martin, peaking the audio levels: Oh you absolute bastard! Do you enjoy this? Do you get some sort of perverse sense of entertainment from riling me up?

Jon: Oh, don’t you start. As if you’re not as bad as I am. Maybe even worse.

Martin: That’s not…

Jon: Yes?

Martin: Okay. Maybe it’s slightly true. Really, what is romance for if not flustering your partner with compliments?

Jon, teasing: I certainly can’t think of anything.

Martin: Hush, you.

Jon: No, I don’t think I will.

Martin: Fine. I suppose you can tell our delightful audience about the power of friendship or whatever.

Jon: I would’ve assumed more enthusiasm, considering this segment is still, indirectly, about you.

Martin: In what way?

Jon: In the way that, to the shock of all, you’re my best friend.

Martin, pleased: Oh, is that what I am?

Jon, exasperated: Yes, dearest husband, I wouldn’t have married you otherwise. Though, upon reflection, I knew you were my best friend before I knew I held romantic feelings for you.

Martin: When was that?

Jon, letting out a breath that vibrates his lips: God it was...2016? I think it might’ve literally been the day after you told me about your CV.

Martin: That early? Huh. I wonder if that’s what people were picking up when they said they we were close.

Jon: What people?

Martin: I don’t know specifically, that’s just what Daisy told me.

Jon: Daisy? When the hell-?

Martin: It...was when she was interrogating me? And, because sometimes I have to be a parody of myself, pretty much my only take away from that interrogation was “people think me and Jon are close”.

Jon: Well then. It’s not like they were wrong.

Martin, smug: No, no they weren’t.

Martin, sincere: And you’re my best friend, too.

Jon: I was certainly hoping that you’re in this relationship for more than my good looks and incredible fortune, both in the monetary and luck sense.

Martin: You say that as if you aren’t good looking, which we all know is patently untrue.

Jon: You’re biased. You’d say I was good looking if I were nothing more than some primordial ooze with thoughts about its station.

Martin: I’m being completely objective. If you were primordial ooze with thoughts above its station, you’d be the cutest ooze of them all. That’s just scientific fact.

Jon: I’m starting to think we might be insufferable.

Martin: Starting to? Might be?

Jon:…

[Jon clears his throat]

Jon: What I find wonderful about the concept of best friends is, to me, they’re the closest thing real life has to soulmates. I don’t personally believe that there’s some..grand mystic force that drives people to be tied together in the manner that narrative typical soulmates are, and if there was I don’t think it would necessarily be the kind of emotional, heartfelt bond one would hope for, but I do believe that there’s individuals that get to know one another, and because of that knowledge, they chose to stick with one another. It doesn’t have to be a romantic, which is why I say best friend rather than specifically ‘spouse’, but I would argue that the basis of a strong romance like you and I have, is very much rooted in that connection. A true best friendship is an equal partnership, and there’s a sense of..matched sensibilities and understanding that can be utterly incandescent when it happens.

I also think that having one or more best friends makes living life on a day to day basis both better and just flat easier. The dark times aren’t as dark, and the bright times shine even more. I know from my own personal experience there are events that I..that I don’t know how I would’ve made it through without you. Hell, last week my..recovery period would’ve taken much longer if you hadn’t been there.

It’s an amazing thing to have someone to share things with, both triumphs and burdens. Um, also, according to Dictionary.com, the term best friends in English has been around since the 1200s. Something about that delights me, like, yes, we’ve had this casual way of referring to a Favorite Person for roughly 800 years. That makes it a hold-out from early Middle English. I dunno, it’s one of those things that make me feel overall very charmed by humanity.

Martin, audibly smiling: No, yeah, hard agree.

Jon: What’s that look for?

Martin: Nothing. Just. I love you a whole lot, you know that?

Jon, voice soft: I may have heard you say that once or twice. Per hour.

Martin: Only that often? I really need to be more diligent about that.

[There’s a bet of silence, presumably where they’re making doe eyes at each other.]

Jon: What’s your first thing?

Martin: Oh, um, right. Rats!

Jon: The expression or the animal?

Martin: Jon, have you ever once heard me say “rats” as an expression? Obviously I’m referring to the animal.

Jon: Ah. Should’ve known, considering that what, a third?, of all your segments have been on animals.

Martin: Yeah? And? You got a problem with critters? With creatures? With lil guys?

Jon, laughing: No, no, it’s very sweet. I’m just surprised you never became a vet.

Martin: Oh believe me, I wanted to. But then I learned that it was not, in fact, a job composed entirely of getting paid to play with other people’s pets.

Jon: You had that job, though, didn’t you? I thought I remembered you mentioning a month long stint at a doggie day care.

Martin, sighing dreamily: Best job I ever had. Too bad that place was shut down after it was revealed to be a money laundering front.

Jon: Good lord.

Jon: Martin did you...did you know it was a money laundering front at the time?

Martin:

Martin: Would it make you feel better if I said no?

Jon: Martin!

Martin: I figured it out like a week in, but, like, who cares? The pay was decent and the floor was super easy to clean, which is very much a plus for even a front of a doggie day care.

Jon: That’s...rather a lot. How about instead of getting into that any further, you tell me about rodents.

Martin: I would love to. But first, we have a shoutout!

Jon: Ooo, a shoutout. Does it specify who should read?

Martin: Let me check. It...does...not…..

...

Jon: Martin?

[A beat.]

Martin: Right! Sorry, um. This week’s shoutout is from Tim, to Danny. It says, “Danny! My favorite person who shares genetic material with me! I wanted to say thank you for your podcast obsession from 4 months ago, and specifically for telling me about these marrieds. They’ve gotten me through many a dull hour at the publishing house. Also, with this shoutout, I’ve officially gotten ahead on the Superior [Last Name Redacted] Brother scoreboard, so suck it. Love you lots, and looking forward to your visit next month, Tim.”

Jon: Oh.

Jon: Um. That’s very..sweet? I think? Mostly?

Martin: Yeah, I’d say so. Uh. We have to take a quick break because, uh, someone is..at our front door! Be back with you all in, from your side of things, just a moment.

[captains-simp]

Alrighty, my friend, whenever you get the chance, I would like a HeroxVillian AU with Carol, where somehow the reader ends up a villain and Carol is hesitant to fight them. Trying to reason with them. With the prompt(s) 3. “It wasn’t meant to go like this,” and 6. “You can't fix this,”

Obviously, I don’t want to rush you, so take all the time you need my love. 💜💜

Ilovethis ilovethis ilovethis. I'm getting some major FATWS vibes here. Thank you for being so patient with me, I hope it's as good as you deserve

Alexa, play Never Gonna Give You Up by Rick Astley

"It wasn't meant to go like this."

"You can't fix this."

Warnings: corrupt reader and violence

2k words

[ masterlist ]

Buy me a coffee ☕

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

You remember the day you took the super soldier serum better than any other. It had changed you in more ways than one. It had changed your world view. It had changed the relationships that had taken years to build.

Carol was in danger. She had been hurt, rendered powerless. Someone had shot her with a specialised bullet made just for her to temporarily disable the hero's powers. You had been terrified you were going to loose her.

Fortunately, the same people who had made the bullet had been working on a super soldier serum. You were meant to take it back to the lab. It was meant to be destroyed. But you had no powers prior and in that moment you knew the only way you could save the love of your life was by taking that serum.

You had gotten Carol back safely just in time for the side effects of the serum to kick in. It wasn't completed and it sure as hell wasn't safe. You had spent weeks in the medical ward in the tower, right next to Carol.

You did a good job with your newfound powers at first. As soon as you were able to fight again you did just that, better than you ever had in your life. The lives you saved doubled maybe even tripled. You could go on more dangerous missions and fight worse people. You thrived off of your powers, eager to do anything and everything you could to help.

Everyone became so blinded by your eagerness no one ever stopped to think about what else it would do to you. It wasn't like you had ever shown any signs of what was to come.

After a while, it slowly began to twist your world view. Carol picked up on that. Your silent and suppressed nature troubled her. Deeply. She never knew exactly what it was you were thinking. She never understood the things you convinced yourself.

Eventually it was something that couldn't be contained to just some in the moment thoughts. You wanted to accomplish all of the things you wished were real.

As an Avenger you had seen the injustice in the world. It wasn't new. But when the power went to your head you convinced yourself you could change things. For the better. Get rid of all the dirty cops, corrupt judges, sadistic governments. You thought you could change it all. What you never understood was that there were limits.

Changes like that couldn't happen over night. They shouldn't. The world wouldn't be able to adjust fast enough. You never considered the effort it would take to rebuild, because that wasn't your role.

You managed to talk to people who believed the same things you did. People who wanted to put the world right. Your convosations were limited to online and the times you knew you wouldn't be discovered. Then it was rare meetings. Then covert operations. But those things didn't make a difference. You needed to do more. However you couldn't do that while you were an Avenger. They wouldn't understand you. They would try to stop you. So you left.

You loved Carol. That was the hardest thing about leaving. You never wanted to hurt her, only protect her. You convinced yourself that was the ultimate way to protect her, to do what you needed to.

That night you held her close to you as she slept. She knew something was wrong because of that. In growing distant it was a rare act of affection that you had always felt for her and always would. She asked you to talk to her, begged you to tell her what had been consuming every inch of your mind. You never did. You held her until you were certain she was asleep, then you held her some more.

Then you left and never returned. The next time she saw you was on the news. You had broken wrong convicted inmates out of prison. You and a large group. It was the first of many attacks.

Every single one she missed. So did the Avengers. Everything was planned so precisely your operations were done and you were long gone by the time the Avengers showed up. It was hard to catch someone who knew how they worked.

Carol always told herself she would be able to talk you out of it, even when the attacks got worse. Things progressed rapidly and the whole world was there to watch it.

Buildings were set aflame and destroyed. The people you wanted gone from the world were killed without mercy or trial. You assigned yourself the role of judge, jury and executioner with no one stopping you. The group you worked closely with encouraged it all, respected it. Even when innocent people got hurt.

Without even knowing it, you became one of the people you had once sworn to protect the world from.

By the time Carol finally found you it was too late. You weren't the person she once knew. And yet Carol still looked in your eyes and saw the woman she loved, even if no one else recognised you.

Your final operation had been an overall success, but your escape had been delayed. Hence bringing you face to face with Captain Marvel herself.

"Y/n." She whispered, calling to you like an abandoned puppy. You narrowed your eyes at Carol, knowing she wasn't just going to let you go and say 'keep up the good work'. No. You would have to fight your way out.

There was a few feet between you. You were in a now abandoned warehouse alone, only the distant sound of sirens somewhere else, chasing down anyone from your group that remained.

"This isn't you." Carol continued. You still didn't speak. "Please y/n, people are getting hurt."

"Only what's necessary." You finally said, eyes flicking to to the doors behind Carol.

"Innocent people." Carol pleaded, her eyes widening. She may have been in her suit, but Carol didn't show any signs of fighting you anytime soon. Her stance wasn't defensive, it was cautious.

"I need you to get out of my way." You had never wanted to say something in such a cold tone to Carol. You still loved her, she just didn't understand.

"The others wanted to take a different approach to this...to you. Just corporate and and I'll make everything okay." So they wanted you dead, you guessed it would get to that point eventually.

"You can't fix this." You said defiantly. Did Carol really expect people to eventually welcome you back with open arms?

"I'm not going to give up on you. Ever."

"Get out of my way." You said firmly, not wanting to continue the convosation any longer.

"I don't want to fight you." Carol protested, still not becoming defensive. Her voice sounded like it was on the verge of breaking, you tried to ignore that. It was hard.

You took a testing step forward. Still nothing from Carol.

"Please don't make me." She pleaded.

"I'm not making you do anything. Let me walk away."

"You know I can't do that."

You decided you wouldn't wait around any longer, every moment you talked to Carol pulled on your heart strings. You couldn't let that weaken you.

You ran at Carol and jumped into the air a couple of meters to drive yourself down. Carol caught your attempted attack and pushed you back firmly, still giving you a hopeful look.

"Stop." She attempted, but you came back at her from another angle to try and swipe her off her feet which she was able to dodge swiftly.

"Get out of my way." You grunted, quickly growing frustrated.

"I can't." You ran directly on this time and delivered several short and powerful blows that Carol struggled to avoid. You kept going, trying punch after punch after every short range attack Natasha had taught you that was driving Carol back towards the door.

"Stop!" She tried again, sounding more desperate this time. Even when your attacks came dangerously close to being successful Carol refused to use her powers. You could handle them to some extent, the serum could tolerate some of it's force. But Carol refused to do it.

You finally landed a kick to her stomach that made her stumble back a few paces. You pushed aside the feeling of guilt and instead made a break for the door, using every bit of self control you had not to look back at those brown eyes.

Carol had been dazed and didn't realise until you were too close to the exit. She could have stopped you if she used her powers. It would have been efficient and easy. You thought she did.

An indescribable feeling of pain shot up through your back for a mere second but was enough to make you fall straight to the floor. Your back stung as though you had been attacked by a sworm of bees and made your whole body feel suddenly very fragile, like it was only made of thin needles. Your whole body was shaking as you tried to comprehend what had happened.

Carol's powers didn't do that. You knew something else that did.

Natasha? Had you just been on the recieving end of a widow bite? You could faintly hear steady footsteps approaching you that made you sure you were right.

You breathed in deeply and tried to get to your feet, reminding yourself exactly what would happen of you were caught.

I will not be put in a cage. You hissed internally.

You were barely on your knees when you gave a strangled cry at the feeling returning with more power. You fell down onto your stomach again and tried to reach around to get the device off but you were faced with the terrifying realisation that you couldn't move. Natasha had told you all about that widow bite. It meant she had used the highest setting on you. It would have killed anyone who didn't have that super soldier serum.

"Stop!" Carol shouted again, except this time it clearly wasn't at you. "That's enough."

The blonde kneeled down at your side and instantly brought you close to her, cradling your head in her lap as she combed her soft fingers through your hair in the comforting way you remembered so clearly and missed. A tear finally fell down her cheek as she watched you gasping, eyes wide.

Carol was all you could feel and focus on as you slowly lost consciousness. No matter how much of a fight you tried to put up you couldn't move an inch of your body and you couldn't run from the looming darkness that was gradually gaining on you.

You dreaded where you were going to end up. What would happen to your group. Mostly, you dreaded the impact it would have on the blonde you once planned to spend the rest of your life with.

"It wasn't meant to go like this." Was the last thing you heard as the darkness enveloped you entirely.

[azucanela]

MOVIE NIGHTS & FADING LIGHTS

PAIRING: TODOROKI SHOUTO X FEM!READER

SUMMARY: Todoroki Shouto evidently has not seen a single one of today’s most iconic movies, luckily, Y/N L/N intends to change that.

GENRE: FLUFF.

WARNINGS: NONE.

NOTE: im actually really proud of this so it’s a birthday gift to myself

BNHA MASTERLIST

MOVIES WERE A LEARNING EXPERIENCE for Shouto Todoroki, watching each one taught him something new. Sometimes it was that there were certain things that simply should not be said, which was a much needed lesson given his blunt nature. Other times it was an odd fact that one character offhandedly mentioned. But the most common observation Shouto had made was that people did illogical things when they felt strong emotions.

Normally, he’d watch a movie once a month maybe. If a friend invited him out to the movies or to watch something at their house, there was a 50/50 chance he agreed to go, so maybe a few times a month. Sometimes the entirety of Class 1A even got together to watch a “classic” as Mina had put it.

It wasn’t really until Y/N that Shouto became an avid movie watcher, though the only reason he did watch movies as frequently as he did was the simple fact that Y/N had decided they would have a weekly movie night. Most nights, she’d pick the movie, mostly because Shouto didn’t really have a preference and the one time he did make a suggestion, it didn’t end well.

He appreciated nights like these, they made him feel... normal. It wasn’t like he’d watched movies much as a kid, most of the time he spent watching TV was spent on the News Channel. So he hadn’t really seen things that were considered staple moments of his classmates’ childhoods. But now he had the opportunity to, and it felt nice.

Y/N just hoped that he didn’t find her annoying after all these nights of dragging him out of the comfort of his room to watch a movie on the TV she’d somehow smuggled into her dorm. She had a feeling he was just coming along to placate her at this point, though he’d seemed to enjoy himself sometimes— his reactions tended to be minimal.

Then again, for Shouto that was normal. But Y/N figured he had better things to do than hang out with her. And yet, he came, every week. The thought brings a smile to her face as she grabs a bowl and a bag of popcorn that had yet to be popped.

There’s a knock at the door, and Y/N is quickly drawn from her thoughts. Coming to a stand, she dusts off her pants before continuing towards the door and opening it to reveal Shouto himself.

Speak of the devil, and he shall appear. 

Shouto offers her a small smile, and just like he has every other week, he stands outside her door almost awkwardly. Y/N had found that Shouto wouldn’t enter unless invited inside, when she’d first noticed it— Y/N compared him to a vampire. He hadn’t understood what she was referencing, so naturally, she made him watch an old Vampire movie the following week. 

“Shouto, you know, you don’t have to wait for me to invite you in.” She says, leaving him at the door as she turns around to pick up the popcorn. 

He nods slowly, “right.” Shouto steps inside, eyes drifting around the room like they usually do. As though he hadn’t been in Y/N’s dorm time and time again. “No popcorn?”

A small laugh escapes Y/N as she shows him the yet to be popped, popcorn. “Not yet, I’ll be back.” She says, offering him a smile as she moves to leave.

“Wait,” Shouto says, placing a hand on her shoulder as she stands by the door, “what if I tried to pop it?” There’s a pensive look on his face as he stares at the bag, “do you think my quirk would allow me to do that?”

The complete and utter seriousness on his face pulls another laugh out of Y/N as she looks to him, adoration in her eyes as she hands it over to him, “give it a go.”

He smiles back at her, and reaches into his pocket, “by the way– Mina suggested we watch this movie called The Notebook.” Shouto was unaware as to how Mina had determined he and Y/N watched movies weekly, though he isn’t necessarily surprised seeing as she is the renowned class gossip. 

Y/N on the other hand finds her cheeks warming as she recalls how Mina had interrogated her on how she’d managed to get the prettiest boy in class wrapped around her finger and visiting her frequently. Since they’d started their weekly meet ups, he’d become notably more... present in her life. 

If Y/N was there, Shouto wasn’t far behind. 

Even now, as they stand under the overhang of one of many closed stores, the streetlights the only thing providing any light now that the sun has set, rain pouring down harshly. Shouto is beside Y/N.

He finds himself reminded of something else he’d learnt from the many movies he’d seen in the past few months.

Love makes people do severely illogical things. 

The thought hits him like a ton of bricks, an indescribable feeling washing over him as his eyes fall on Y/N, who stands at his side. Shouto had insisted on staying behind with her despite the oncoming storm. Would that be considered illogical?

Is this love?

He doesn’t know what he feels as he looks at her, but there’s a tightness in his chest, a feeling of freedom— almost a breath of relief to being around her. Shouto wasn’t necessarily sure what it was he was feeling as he watched her extend a hand into the rain.

“It’s raining hard.” She says, brows furrowing as she looks to Shouto, “sorry you got caught up in this with me. You could’ve been home by now.”

Shouto simply shakes his head, “it’s not a problem.” Comes his response, watching as she rubs her arms viciously, attempting to warm herself. Shouto tilts his head at her as he watches, before grabbing her and pulling her to his left side. Y/N seems shocked at the sudden contact but she only looks to him momentarily before realizing why, as he begins to warm the both of them with his quirk. 

“Thank you.” She mumbles out, her arm wrapping around his back as she leans into him, “but we still have to find a way to get through this rain.”

With a shrug, Shouto replies, “we could wait it out?”

A small laugh escapes Y/N as she shakes her head, eyes drifting towards the sky, “I have a feeling it’s going to last a while.” Brows furrowing, Y/N looks back to Shouto with a grin, “we could run for it?”

“What?”

Y/N laughs once more before releasing Shouto and leaving his hold, the sudden loss of warmth causes her to shudder, but she only looks back to him once more before launching herself into the rain. Shouto extends an arm, attempting to grab her and keep her running any further but she’s already heading towards the middle of the plaza. 

He’s left standing these, dumbfounded, arm still extended as he watches Y/N runs through the rain. Shouto can hear her laughs as he watches. Water falls onto his hand, the only thing left unprotected from the overhang. And Shouto finds himself wondering if maybe, he should take a leap of faith. 

“Are you coming?” Y/N calls out to him, drawing him from his thoughts. 

And so, Shouto steps out into the rain, almost instantly his hair is matted against his head by the weight of the water falling on his head as he makes his way towards Y/N, clothes getting drenched in the process. It’s uncomfortable,  but there’s something peaceful about it, something that leaves him shutting his eyes and allowing his head to fall back as rain fell onto him.

When he opens his eyes, they instantly find Y/N, who’s beaming at him as she takes his hand— her clothes are drenched as well, and yet she’s still smiling, and so is he.

Love makes people severely illogical. This was definitely illogical. Neither of them should really be enjoying this, but it was nice in a sense of it’s own.

Y/N grabs his hand, and Shouto allows her to pull him towards the next overhang, a means of shelter before they made another dash for the UA dorms. But before they reach it, Shouto comes to a full stop, causing Y/N to look back to him, puzzled look on her face as she tilts her head at him.

And suddenly, Shouto is yanking her towards him, their chests colliding as Y/N gasps in shock. Her eyes meet Shouto’s water pouring down on the pair of them as his hands come to her cheeks. 

And so he kisses her, pressing his lips to hers, the hands that had been on his chest are no grappling at his shirt in an attempt to tug him closer as the rain falls down onto them— but that’s not something that concerns either of them right now. 

Love makes people illogical, yes, but Shouto was okay with that. 

[fridayfirefly]

Lavender for Tranquillity, Pink Aster for Love

Read Lavender for Tranquillity, Pink Aster for Love on AO3

Masterlist

Written for Maribat March Day 16 - Magic

“Here's your drink."

"Thank you," Marinette said with a smile, setting the coffee mug down next to her textbooks. She was doing some last-minute studying for her upcoming Herbology final, and the coffeeshop sandwiched between the Business Department and the Herbology Department was her favorite spot to study.

Setting down her pen, Marinette picked up the coffee cup and took a long sip. Immediately she knew something was wrong. The entire taste of the drink was wrong, and not in a subtle way, as if the barista used an incorrect ingredient. Marinette had ordered a plain vanilla lavender latte, but this drink was something entirely.

The shock of adrenaline through her veins hit Marinette like a bus. Not only had she been given the wrong drink, but she had also been given a drink infused with an alertness charm that had her breath shortening and her hands vibrating from the extra energy.

On shaky legs, Marinette stood up and walked over to her waitress. "Excuse me," Marinette said apologetically. "But I think you gave me the wrong drink. I ordered a vanilla lavender latte."

The waitress's eyes widened as she saw Marinette's shaking hands. "Oh no! I gave you the chai latte infused with an extra-strength alertness charm."

Marinette couldn't identify the drink by taste, but given that her heart was racing as if she had just finished a marathon, the extra-strength alertness charm sounded about right. "Yep."

"I am so sorry about the mixup. Your drink will be free, of course, and you can have anything you want on the house. It's my first day, and I was supposed to take this to take four but I took it to table fourteen - that it, your table - by accident."

"It's alright. Everyone makes mistakes. I'll have my vanilla lavender latte, as well as two blueberry muffins - one for me and one for the person at table four, the one was also involved in the drink mixup.

The waitress nodded eagerly, obviously relieved that Marinette hadn't gotten angry at her. "Of course. I'll bring everything to your table momentarily.

Glad that the mixup was over, and still buzzing from the effects alertness charm, Marinette went back to her table to continue studying. Having grown up in a bakery all her life, Marinette knew the different herbs and flowers well. She grew up eating lavender cookies when she was anxious and passionflower icing right out of the mixing bowl when she needed comforting.

Marinette read the words out loud off the page, cementing them into memory. "Wormwood for divination, juniper for protection, passionflower for contentment, aster for patience, lavender for peace and tranquillity, roses for love and affection."

"Excuse me."

Marinette looked up from her textbook to see a young man standing beside her table. "Can I help you?"

He uncomfortably rubbed the back of his neck. "I wanted to apologize for the drink mixup. I'm sure that my extra-strength alertness charm wasn't what you were expecting."

Marinette realized that he must be the other participant in the drink mix-up, the one whose alertness charm she drank. "No worries. It wasn't anyone's fault. It was an accident."

The man nodded. "I also wanted to thank you for the blueberry muffin. It was a nice gesture."

"Oh, you're welcome..." Marinette trailed off, pausing the conversation for him to introduce himself.

"Timothy Drake, but you can call me Tim. And you are?"

"Marinette Dupain-Cheng. Are you a student at Gotham University?"

Tim nodded. "Yep. I'm in my junior year. I assume you go here as well, though I don't think I've ever seen you around before. What's your major?"

"I'm a sophomore fashion major, with a specialization in Thread Magic. Also, a Herbology minor, which I know is an odd choice. What about you?"

"I'm double majoring in Business and Charms, so I know all about odd choices."

"Take a seat," Marinette offered. "If you explain your odd choice in majors, I'll explain mine."

"Sure." Tim smiled at her. "A business major was the practical choice for me, as I always planned on taking over my family business. I guess I was getting a little sick of the practical choice, because I couldn't quite shake my interest in magical academia. That was what led me to the Charms Department. I never intended to major in Charms, until I found out that I had nearly all of the required credits to add a Charms major to my diploma."

"I understand all about mixing practical with completely impractical. I've known since I was young that I was gifted in Thread Magic. I used to embroider sigils into all of my clothes. It was a natural choice, choosing to become a Fashion major, because it allowed me to pursue thread magic as a career. Then, one day during freshman orientation when I was exploring campus I wandered into one of the greenhouses. I was instantly enthralled, as if it was fate for me to work there. I bribed my academic advisor with homemade cookies to let me drop my Potions elective to take Intro to Herbology, and ever since then I've been working in the Herbology department."

"That's not the oddest reason," said Tim. "Sometimes magic drives us to do things we don't quite understand. You just have to go with it."

"Hmm," Marinette hummed in agreement. She let her mind wander for a moment until she realized that she was staring at his lips. She tore her eyes away from them, instead, fixing her gaze on her latte. "So why did you need to extra-strength alertness charm anyway? Finals week all-nighter?"

Tim nodded. "I stayed up all night studying because I had two finals this morning, and in twenty minutes I'm getting a ride back home to my family's house for a big family dinner. Trust me, I would prefer a nap to an alertness charm, but desperate times call for desperate measures."

"You know what's better than an alertness charm?"

"What?"

"Some fresh air," Marinette smiled. "If you'd like, I could take you on a tour of the Herbology greenhouses."

Tim's face brightened up. "Sure, I would love that."

Marinette finished the rest of her latte and returned the mug to the front of the coffeeshop. She and Tim then left the coffeeshop in the direction of the Herbology greenhouse. The sun was shining brightly overhead, and Marinette could feel the call of the magical plants deep within her bones. That was Marinette's favorite part of being a Green Witch - the connection she felt to nature was indescribable, but when she did try and describe it to her friends and family, she emphasized that it felt incredibly right.

"Herbology was the subject you were studying for in the coffeeshop, right?" asked Tim.

Marinette nodded. "Yep. I was just reviewing some notes. I'm still a little nervous about it, but I don't think I can study any more than I already have."

"I hope you do well."

Marinette blushed. "I really hope so. If I get a good enough grade in the course, I might be able to get a position on the Herbology Department research team. It's very selective, though. They only take two students from each year."

Marinette and Tim walked up the stairs to the front doors of the greenhouse. Marinette opened up the doors and let the warm, humid air wash over her. "I could just live here forever, and never leave," she said with a smile.

Tim tugged at his shirt collar. "It's a little too humid for my taste."

Marinette shook her head. "That's what I thought at first too, but you get used to it. Eventually, the humidity stopped being annoying and started reminding me of all of the positive feelings that I associate with the greenhouse. Even if it does still make my hair frizzy."

Just as Marinette was about to start her tour of the greenhouse, a timer went off on her phone. "Oh!" She exclaimed, pulling it out of her back pocket. "My final starts in ten minutes. I guess I thought I would have more time to show you around."

Tim shook his head. "It's no problem. I have to leave soon anyway, to catch a ride back to my family's house. They drive me nuts, but they're family," Tim said with a shrug.

"Here, how about we reschedule for some other time." Marinette grabbed a scrap of paper out of her backpack and wrote her phone number down on it.

"Sure." Tim pocketed the paper. "Do you live in the area?"

Marinette shook her head. "I'm an international student, from Paris. I won't be back in Gotham until next semester."

"That's a shame. I suppose I'll see you next semester, then."

"Oh wait, one last thing." Marinette plucked a blossom from the flowerbed beside her. "Pink aster, for patience. To help you put up with your family."  Marinette smiled and tucked the flower behind Tim's ear.

"Thank you, Marinette."

"I'll see you soon, Tim." Marinette watched him leave the greenhouse and get into a car parked beside the coffeeshop. A question lingered in her mind. When she gave Tim the flower, was it to give him the patience to survive his family dinner or was it to give him the patience to wait for her to return to Gotham. Either way, what she had no excuse for was giving him, out of all the shades of aster growing in that flowerbed, the pink variety. Pink aster was, as Marinette knew well, the aster that symbolized love.

With a shake of her head, Marinette left the greenhouse. It was silly to think of love when she only just met him. Love at first sight never seemed to turn out well for Marinette. She would meet someone, fall head over heels in love with them, harbor an unrequited crush for months, and eventually admit her feelings, only to be shot down every single time. It was exhausting. Marinette's first rule when she came to Gotham was that she would never let someone crush her heart again.

Yet, Marinette couldn't shake the feeling that this time was different. There was a seed of hope buried deep inside of her that was telling her that something about Tim was different. Maybe, just maybe, he felt the same way about her.

As Marinette stepped into the Herbology lecture hall to take her final, her phone buzzed with a text alert. She turned her phone on and her face lit up with a smile when she saw who the text was from.

Unknown Number: Good luck on your final and good luck getting that research position! I can't wait to see you again next semester! (P.S. This is Tim)

Marinette had a good feeling about what was to come.

@maribatmarch-2k21

[duskwood-legacies]

“Blood Moon Masquerade”

•Fandom: Duskwood

•Pairing/Character: Jake x fem!MC

•Word Count: 1.5k

•Genre: Romance, Angst

•Summary: MC pursuaded Jake to attend the infamous Blood Moon Ball along her side. However, the blissful and furious spark of the night shall take an unpleasant turn.

-----

Cold air surrounded Jake and MC, spots of the starry sky covered by dark clouds. Their arms were hooked together as they neared the castle’s entrance.

MC had persuaded Jake into attending a masquerade ball on this special night with her. He was strictly against it at first. He thought public events portrayed a too great threat for them, but after seeing MC’s sad, almost heart-shattered expression he gave in.

Tonight was the night of the “super blood moon”. Jake didn’t want to steal it away from her. She has always wished to see this moon, has been expecting this day with joy and excitement for weeks. When she saw the poster inviting to this event, she couldn’t be held back anymore.

It was a masquerade ball. Parts of their faces would be covered, making it harder for them to be recognized. Jake also knew MC would be as careful as him. Those were the main thoughts keeping him composed.

Guards supervised the entrance. MC and Jake greeted them with a lightly nervous but friendly smile. The guards inspected them intensely, going as far as searching them through for weapons and other harmful objects.

Jake’s corded muscles relaxed by a bit as they got a green light and were allowed inside. MC gave him a kiss on the cheek to reassure him everything was okay before finally entering the building and venturing through the castle’s corridors. After taking three or four turns, they arrived at the open doors of the ballroom.

The ballroom was enormous. Chandeliers made of crystals hung from the ceiling and the walls were lined by elegant pillars. Soft shades of beige painted the entire room, occasional decorations made of gold provided the final touch of luxury to the royal place.

They entered the room with sheer amazement.

Countless amounts of people filled the place after them. Countless of amounts that could get them in trouble, countless amounts that would help blend in and hide. The endless contraries Jake and MC faced on their run, the endless opportunities each of these contraries brought.

It’s not about how face the world, it’s about how you view it. How you observe it. Observe the contraries, weight your chances and then face the world.

Right now, they blend in perfectly. Their chances of staying safe were high.

They stood near the windows as happy chatter sounded through the air. Closely Jake examined MC’s appearance from under his mask, not being quite able to tear his gaze away from her.

She wore a plain black mask around her eyes and an A-Line dress that hugged her figure tightly to the smallest part of her waist, until it divided into a wider, floor-length skirt. The skirt was made of a black base with uneven layers of golden fabric, which were yet again covered by a thin, transparent black net-like fabric. The upper part of her dress was black as well, covered in marvelous golden flower pattern.

MC did the exact same. From Jake’s black leather boots, to his black and white suit to his golden tie and black-golden mask. He looked breathtaking. Both their outfits matched well together, both their outfit matched well with their surroundings and other couples.

The chatter quieted down as the hostess announced herself. Applause filled the air, Jake and MC joining in.

After the hostess’ speech, music started playing and butlers walked around the room handing out champagne. Jake and MC both took a glass, smiling at each other and taking a sip. They kept standing on the sidelines, assuring they were safe and their pursuers weren’t nearby, or at least didn’t recognize them.

Once the alcohol of the now emptied glasses reached their blood flow, their tension eased a bit off. MC waved a butler over so she and Jake could get rid of their glasses.

After the butler walked away, Jake turned towards MC, a gentle smile evident on his lips and holding out his hand for her.

“Would you give me this dance?”

MC grinned and gratefully took Jake’s hand. She knew how much he hated dancing and how much he probably despised being here, but she was endlessly thankful for him to come along and even offer her a dance. Not even his smile could convince her otherwise.

Jake, somewhat reluctant at first, drew MC close and slowly started swaying across the dancefloor with her. He wanted her to enjoy the night, in defiance of the presence of danger. The only way to assure they kept safe and allow MC to enjoy herself was by dancing.

Against the fact of Jake’s initial boldness, they relished the dance and soon started to move more elegantly as Jake grew more confident. Despite the growing confidence in both of them, neither let their environment quite out of sight.

The lights of the room went out, allowing the silver-blue moonlight from outside to illuminate the place through its large windows. It was part of the ball. The guests grew excited, knowing exactly the vanishing of the lights announced the soon-arrival of the blood moon.

The music and dancing carried on. If it wasn’t for their eyes, touch and heart-stopping appearance, MC and Jake would have gotten exhausted by now. It was the adrenaline, each other’s company that kept them on their feet, kept them going, kept pushing further.

Seconds turned into minutes, minutes into hours.

They danced as the music drowned the room in mysterious beats and melodies. Tranquilized with each other’s bodies in their embrace, they lost themselves in the music and danced away in their own, little universe.

Jake’s and MC’s feet guided them over the wooden floor like they were leaping through a sea of clouds. Their caution dissolved into nothingness with each step they took. They became careless in a world with no mercy left for them.

The world around them got competitive without their awareness. Everyone wanted to out-dance one another, everyone wanted to show that they are better than anyone in this room.

The soft moonlight began to shift. The lunar eclipse has begun.

Timed perfectly, the music increased in tension and speed, sending floods of hot lava through their veins. MC’s and Jake’s minds were melting away piece by piece.

Passion burning like millions of fires ignited in their bodies as they moved over the dancefloor with swiftness and finesse. Nothing has ever felt so indescribable. Jake’s gaze remained on MC. The black mask around her eyes made them shine brighter than the stars outside, brighter than the diamonds and crystals of the chandeliers.

The moon’s gleam grew into a rosé color.

The competition that had broken loose before kept going. The ballroom now didn’t hold hundreds of people anymore, but hundreds of universes those people were floating in. MC focused on every single one of Jake’s touches, savoring, memorizing every second of this moment as long as it lasted. She looked up to see his face. Despite the mask, his face seemed so perfect, so comfortingly familiar.

By now, the moonlight seized the entire room in its deep red glow.

The meeting of their eyes was like a match thrown into gasoline to their feelings. Their performance they never imagined to appear so flawless, so powerful, reached its climax. The sea of clouds they were walking on turned into an ocean of feathers, pushing them across the floor with weightless elegance and emotion.

MC’s dress was flowing with ethereal grace as she spun underneath Jake’s hand, catching him in a trance he’s never been in before. The red, the gold, the black. Her sight was too heavenly to look away.

He pulled her close again and lifted her off the ground, pirouetting with her in his arms. Her legs wrapped around his body for better hold and tighter proximity.

MC stared deep into Jake’s eyes as they twirled over their ocean of feathers. The moonlight crossing his eyes, the red color painting his frame. He was too divine to break away from.

Jake gently set MC down on her feet again. It was time for their dream to come to an end.

Both of them noticed people pushing through the crowd, people that didn’t exactly look like guests. The fierce sensation the taste of danger left prickling on their skin made their hairs stand up.

Their chances of a safe escape slipped away.

MC felt guilt creeping into her eyes as the endlessness of this night seemed to crawl away, their pursuers drawing closer than they’ve ever been.

She placed her hands behind Jake’s neck and pulled him closer. His hands snaked around her waist, gradually giving in to her pull.

Their lips met in a soft, almost defeated way.

They knew they’ve been caught, they knew they had to fight their way out. They knew they were outnumbered.

Helplessness spread in both their chests as they broke the kiss. Their gazes met one more time with the awareness of their evaporating opportunities lying heavily between them. MC could feel the tears gathering in her eyes, feel the remorse in her throat.

“I’m sorry, Jake”

-----

A/N: Hi everyone!💕 I want to mention that I don't really have knowledge on how masquerade balls work, so I apologize for inaccuracies in advance! I still hope you enjoyed the story🌿💕

[blush-and-books]

i am always yours

canonverse juke one-shot, light angst with a happy ending :) as a part of the effort to get juke back on the tumblr fandometrics ship list! title from the end of all things by p!atd. again, fuck brendon urie, but i’ve had this hc about luke for awhile (you’ll see what i mean) and had to get this out! <3 enjoy!

When Julie told Luke about Panic! At The Disco, she didn’t just give him a list of songs to check out. She advised to listen through entire albums. 

“You have a lot to catch up on,” she said, grinning over a mug of steaming tea. Her smile could convince him to do anything. “And these guys were a phenomenon. Despite… A lot that has happened with their lead singer, you’ll appreciate the music. Just give it a try when you feel like it.”

Julie never rushed him on anything. It was one of the things he loved most about her -- she only really insisted he know how to use her phone and the internet and maybe know some memes, but the rest was up to him. She loved him -- he hoped -- even if he wanted to stay in 1995. 

However, whenever she told Luke to do something, like “look into it if you’re interested” or “check it out if you’re ever bored,” he would jump on it in an instant. 

He wondered if she ever noticed. Acts of service was one of those love language things that Flynn was always talking about, right? Does making the effort to show an interest in the other person’s life by listening to every album by a band they like count?

He would ask Reggie or Alex, but Reggie doesn’t have much experience in the love department and Alex and Willie are much better at communicating than he is with Julie. 

To be clear: Luke doesn’t have experience either. In fact, Reggie probably has more romantic experience between the two of them. 

But none of it was as serious. This weird thing he has with Julie; this undefined, label-lacking supernova of passion and emotion that he has curled up in his chest is so strong sometimes it hurts. When Julie was upset at him and ignored him, it felt like the time his mom took his guitar and locked it away for a week. 

But when Julie is around, and she’s smiling at him, he could swear that not even a roaring audience could spark the kind of nirvana he feels. 

So, the day after she gives him the name of every Panic! album to date, she goes to school for six hours and he sneaks her laptop down to the garage and starts his deep dive. 

(Yes, Julie gave him computer privileges. He knows boundaries. She’s just broadened hers.)

Blissfully and with few interruptions from his other bandmates, he goes through the first albums quickly. He skips most of Pretty Odd -- Julie should have warned him about that one -- and is enjoying himself until he gets to the later projects which are significantly less his sound. 

But he keeps going. He reaches their album from 2013, which has this neon-angsty-alt-pop vibe that he honestly has a neutral opinion on. The songs are all good until he realizes that half of them have a painfully romantic overtone that ropes his mind back to Julie every time he tries to stray. 

Fuck, one of the songs is literally titled Girl That You Love. How is he not supposed to have a montage of Julie in his head?

And then some shit called Far Too Young To Die comes on, and yes, he agrees, he was far too young to die. He also vows to never listen to it again in the next 24 hours because he is ultimately tempted to loop it until Julie comes back and kiss her breathless the second that she walks through the door. 

Moving on, Collar Full doesn’t make things much better. He is sick and tired of waiting and dancing around his feelings for her, and every time they are together he is filled to the brim with lyrics and love from just minutes in her presence. 

(“If you’re gonna be the death of me, that’s how I want to go” definitely shatters him. But only briefly. He wants to soak up every ounce of love he can get from her before the world catches up to them and he’s crossing over without his consent.)

Luke thinks that he’s out of the woods when he hits the album-ending ballad, The End of All Things. 

And then he sees that he’s still in the thick of it. 

The way it hits him is nearly indescribable -- but every line hits like a read-aloud of his diary. 

No matter where he is, or where he ends up, his soul will always belong to Julie Molina. And that’s the truth of it. He can cross over or the band could break up and he could wander the planet as a lost ghost for the rest of eternity, but his soul will linger; tied with Julie’s in an unsolvable knot. 

He is hers. 

He is hers, he is hers, he is hers. 

And he’s in love with her. 

He can’t ask her to love him back. But he can hope, right? For just a single moment where they can lay together and be Julie and Luke like they should have been.

The tears on his cheeks and under his eyes don’t register until they are streaming down his neck and onto the pillow that he’s laying on. 

He doesn’t deserve Julie, he knows that. And he knows how fucking selfish it would be to even try. But sometimes the wanting reaches inside of him and individually snaps each and every one of his ribs, and that feeling keeps him pushing and pulling like the tide. Get close to her, make her smile, make her laugh. 

Leave her alone. Stop flirting. Don’t you dare hurt her. 

Think about somebody other than yourself. 

This song, he ends up looping. Over and over and over until his emotions are exhausted and he doesn’t have any tears left to cry. He’s on his… Probably his ninth listen when the doors crack open, and the piano music is leaking out of the garage as Julie slips in. 

“Luke! Hey, uh… Oh! You’re listening to Panic!”

He guiltily allows his heart to skip at the pleasant surprise in her smile. Clearing his throat, he swipes his hands viciously across his cheeks to rid of the tear stains and shoots her one of his classic smiles. “‘Course, Boss. You told me to.”

Her backpack hits the coffee table as she slowly approaches the couch to settle next to him. “Yeah, well… I didn’t actually expect you to. People normally just say ‘yeah, I’ll check it out!’ and then no one talks about it again.”

Something rubs him the wrong way about her not thinking that he would actually follow through with her recommendation. Does she doubt him? How does she not know that she could say jump and he would ask how high?

“Well, I’m not normal people. I care about what you care about.”

He knows he got her when she averts her eyes to Alex’s drums across the room; giving Luke a perfect view of her blush. Maybe he lets himself revel in it for a moment longer than necessary. 

“Anyways, how was school? Did you have a good day?”

“It was fine,” she shakes off her previous flusteredness, tucking her leg under her body so that she can turn to fully face him. “But there's nothing to tell. I would much rather hear about what you thought of Panic! And you have to tell me why you were wiping tears off of your face when I came in.”

Luke mirrors her position and gives her a joyful grin, trying to ignore the fact that she clearly noticed him trying to clean his face and wants to talk about it. The two of them have been so good at communication, and if it were about anything else, he would tell her. 

But he was nearly sobbing because of how much he loved her and couldn’t have her, so… 

“They were pretty cool, I’ll give it to you. I liked the album… Vices and Virtues?” Julie nods her head. “Yeah, that one. I was finishing the Vegas one when you got home.”

“Did you like it? The album you just finished. It sounded like End of All Things when I came in.”

With wide eyes and an exaggerated nod, Luke is praying internally that she will move on and go on a tangent about her favorite albums and songs because he just wants to listen to her talk and quietly love her instead of dodge questions about his emotions. 

“Okay, and did you like it? Is that-” She chuckles. “Is that what got you emotional? I mean, I get it, that song hits different sometimes, but-”

Luke stays quiet. If he keeps his mouth shut, and just smiles and stares and nods, it won’t slip. 

“... Luke? Are you listening to me?”

“Yeah, of course!”

“... So? Are you… Are you okay? Did it remind you of your mom?”

It reminded me of you, he instantly corrects her with the little voice in his head. 

But the voice sounds louder than usual, and then Julie’s eyes widen, and Luke couldn’t even smile and nod well enough to cover this up. Since when is he so bad at bottling up his emotions?

Right. Since he couldn’t write songs about his feelings. Because if he did, Julie would see them, so every word of affection toward her was shoved into an overflowing filing cabinet in his brain that was probably waiting to explode at any moment. 

“It- Really?”

Mental checklist: She isn’t running away. She isn’t crying. She isn’t running away while she’s crying. 

She isn’t slapping him, or screaming at him, or expressing any negative emotions. 

Maybe he can push another inch… Just for some relief.

“Y- Yeah.” The single word takes considerable effort to stutter out, but he says it. 

Julie formulates her next move. “And… Like, what about it? What reminded you of me?”

Is Luke imagining things, or did she just shift closer to him? Oh, God. The selfishness has already done it’s damage. He’s initiating something that he definitely shouldn’t for both of their sake, but-

God, why does she look so pretty?

“Y’know,” he scratches the back of his neck, “the… The lyrics.” 

“The lyrics?” “Yeah.”

“Which ones?”

She’s leaning in. Her fingers are trailing up the side of his leg, and he wants to poof himself out of this conversation but what would hiding do? Just create a bigger gap between them?

His mom always told him he was selfish. He really, really doesn’t want to be selfish to Julie. He wants to protect her. He wants to put her health and happiness and life before his. Hurting her will never give him peace. 

Is he being selfish either way? Telling her his feelings to make himself feel better, and avoiding his feelings because he thinks it will be better without talking to her about it -- neither are ideal, are they?

His hand, which was previously resting in his lap, inches down to brush against hers. “The first verse…” Their index fingers wrap around each other. “And the chorus, and the second verse…”

Both of their hands tangle until Luke doesn’t even remember what his hand looked like before, because all he sees is a bronze-ivory marble of skin and he knows he doesn’t ever want to see his hand without hers again. 

“Luke…”

“Yeah, Boss?” “Why were you upset?”

She really won’t let it go. She clearly knows him too well, because he would hope any other person would be distracted by the fact that they were about to kiss, but this is Julie. They’re friends first. Family first. 

He owes her honesty, doesn’t he?

“Because the song was right,” he answers, staring deadlocked at their joined hands. “No matter where I am, or how much time goes by… It’s gonna be you. On my mind. My feelings will never change.”

He can’t tell, but Julie’s heart ignites in her chest. 

“Feelings? What-”

Somehow, the words still don’t want to come out. The eight letters are resisting every opportunity she has offered him, so he resorts to actions and cuts her off by raising their joined hands to kiss the back of her hand. 

His lips linger before their union drops back into the space between them.

“... Oh.”

“Yeah.”

In a moment of courage, Luke peeks up at her, just to see how she looks. If he can read everything she’s feeling in a millisecond of a glance. 

There are tears in her eyes. 

“Whoa, Jules, why are you crying?” “Why were you crying?”

“Because I’m afraid of doing this!” Her hand tightens around him at his volume. “Julie, I- I don’t want to do anything selfish. I can’t have you thinking I’m selfish. I’m afraid of-” He has to take a deep, shaky breath. “When we hold hands or when you smile at me and I just feel so much and then I tell myself that I can’t, because you have so much ahead of you, and I don’t even know what’s in my future.”

The tears well in her eyes. “What would you be doing that’s selfish, Luke? You have a second chance at life. You should fucking live it. You have a future, and it has the boys, and the band, and me. I’m in your future.” 

There’s a beat, because he’s looking at her, and he wants to cry but he wants to say it so badly. 

He still doesn’t know how much time he has in the future, but Julie is telling him that she’ll be there. And he needed that more than anyone would understand. 

“Well, aren’t I?”

Julie’s question shocks him a little because he hadn’t realized that he had been quiet for so long. Her bottom lip trembles the smallest amount when she sucks in a deep breath, and it sets him off to do what he had once deemed to be the most selfish act of all. 

His free hand tucks itself in the hair on the base of her neck and tugs her towards him before he covers her mouth with his in a kiss that he has furiously dreamed of for a long time. For such a sweet moment, there is an overload of passion behind it. All of his fantasies were rushed and adrenaline-fueled after shows before he would talk himself down; and now, that is translating to this kiss.

“I’m sorry,” he gasps as he pulls away. “That’s the selfish thing I was worried about. Fuck, I-”

Her hand wrestles free from his, and suddenly, two hands are on his cheeks like the night after the Orpheum and the love of his life is pulling herself into his lap. On autopilot, he untucks his leg from underneath him and shifts to sit normally on the couch while Julie’s legs hold her up on each side of his hips. 

And she’s kissing him again, touching him again, before he can let the panic set in. She moves her lips against his like she has her own overflowing filing cabinet of feelings and fantasies and lyrics just for him.

Her hands wondrously drain every jolt of worry and anguish from his nervous system as they run from his face to his arms to his chest and back again. Kissing Julie Molina is a thousand little feelings and it’s own feeling  in itself.

When you get cold water from a water fountain and it’s so refreshing that you insatiably want more. When the set ends and Luke is taking his bows and watching people scream and clap for their performance, knowing once again he’s succeeding in the one thing he’s ever wanted to do. 

Only now, making music is now tied with making Julie happy on that list of priorities. 

Holding her under his hands is stupidly one of his favorite things, and in this context, it is leaving him clawing for more. He applies more pressure against her back to try and press her closer, but it never feels like enough. 

Julie is an endless fountain of fervor, and he can only drink up everything he can get. 

She’s the one who pulls away this time; but she keeps her fingers knotted in his hair because she plans to not stray far. 

“You’re not selfish,” she sighs, chest heaving with deep breaths. “If you think that’s selfish, then I’m selfish. And we can do this together. We deserve it.”

Hearing the words tumble from her lips cancels out every fight he’s ever had with his mother. 

She’s right -- they do deserve it. She shut the world out for a year, he was locked away from the world for 25, and by some miraculous turn of fate, they were brought to each other. 

“We deserve it,” he repeats, a little distracted by her blown pupils and delirious smile. “We deserve it.”

They lean in at the same time to fall back into one another like it’s a new routine they’ve set. Luke doesn’t say the words, not yet, at least-

Because like she said, they deserve this. Julie Molina is on his lap, in his arms, playing him with her soft hands like his skin is the ivory keys she’s been playing since childhood. He loves her, and he’s pretty sure that she loves him -- so maybe, even though the future is uncertain, he can just wait a little longer to tell her. There’s simultaneously less of a delay and less of a rush. 

Later, when they’re in her room and staying up way too late for a school night in deep discussion, he mumbles it against her forehead while she has her head tucked into his shoulder and their shared earbuds are playing The End of All Things. 

Any concerns of selfishness fade when she wastes no time in reciprocating his declaration and punctuating her feelings with a cripplingly soft kiss above his collar bone. 

If any of this is selfish, they can be selfish together. Luke can find himself to be content in that if Julie is right there with him. 

--

tags: @lydias--stiles @bluefirewrites @willexx @moreflowersthanweeds @ruzek-halstead @xxprettylittletimebombxx  @unsaid-emily